Post # 1
In desperate need of venting. I am having a destination wedding of sorts. One of my bridesmaids, who I love very much is driving me CRAZY! I aksed her to be my bridemaid over 6 months ago, cut to three months ago when she quit her job (this is a habit of her life, she gets “tired” of working. Welcome to being an adult) she had not saved a single dime for anything (airfare, dress, lodging, shower). I have since paid for her airfare, her dress, and will be paying for her lodging and zip car. One month before the wedding I received a new job offer and gave notice at my current job, the owner did not want 2 weeks notice so I lost a paycheck a month before my wedding. I was telling said bridesmaid that I was so stressed out about money and she called me immeditaly, (me thinking she was calling to console me) instead she was just complaining about the flight i booked her on. I explained that that flight was much cheaper than the others and that maybe right now was not a good time to discuss it. She just wouldn’t stop. She had told me she wanted to leave monday or tuesday, I booked her for tuesday as monday is always more expensive. I have not had ANY shower or bachelorette party. No one has even suggested or mentioned either of these things. (My sister who is one of my BM’s lives across the country and would have made all this so easy and fab for me. Miss you sis.) Now 24 days till the wedding the bridemaid is trying to get me to go camping, said we couldn’t afford it, is always eating out going out and yet she can’t even through a little money my way? She’s ALWAYS LATE. NEVER shows up for anything on time and I am so mad I don’t think I want to even speak to her. What do I do????!!!!!!????!???!?
Post # 3
Turn off your phone, go upstairs, run a bubble bath, get a bottle of wine, soak, sip, repeat….any questions?
Post # 4
I agree completely. Too bad so sad. If she wants to change her flight, she can call the airline and pay for an adjusted ticket herself. ‘Nuff said.
Post # 5
I understand your pain, girl! One of my bridesmaids is driving me insane! She can’t commit to anything and she’s just being impossible! They best advice I can give is to be honest with her, tell her how frustrated you’re feeling and how hard this is been on you. If she can’t understand and try to make you feel better then maybe she’s not the right person to be in your wedding.
Good luck hun!
Post # 6
Take a deep breath.
Stop taking her calls, reading her emails & texts for a couple three days. Take a hot bath. Drink some wine. Have some chandelier swinging monkey sex.
Deal with some of the wedding things you have to deal with so everything feels like it’s under control.
Then, when you can deal with her wiith a little more equilibrium, give her a call and say, “Hey girlfriend! I was so ridiculously busy with wedding stuff this weekend, but I got so much done! Anyway, what’s up with you?”
And try not to let it bother you; she was like this before you asked her to Bridesmaid or Best Man. She’s not going to suddenly get it together. You just have to find a way to be zen when you’re dealing with her.
Post # 7
Gees. So sorry you are dealing with this so close to the wedding. That being said, I know how you feel in a way. My bridesmaids are doing basically nothing for me… I asked them to help me do various things, and instead they post things on facebook about going out and partying instead. Its like my wedding means nothing to them.
And then i realized what I was doing. I was giving conditions for my love. Basically, if you are expecting people to do things for you you then that is not unconditional love. It hurts when people are not there for you like you expect them to be. But what you have to realize is that, your friends and family were this way before your wedding…. And they are still this way now. They are not going to change and start doing amazing things for you now that the wedding is coming. They will continue to be themselves.
It seems so much easier to love people when you dont need anything from them. And it is. I am not saying that you (or me) are the bad guys. I am just saying that our family and friends were always this way and we found ways to love them anyway over the years. Just wanted you to think about that before making any drastic desions.
Will all that done, I do want to say to stand up for yourself. No one else will do it for you unfortunately. Dont change who you are as a person because people dont treat you the way you should. Love them anyway. Be a good person, for your own sanity. And plan your own things like I am!! Its funner anyways and you end up getting what you want.
I planned my bachelorette party and my mom is planning the shower. No help from the girls. And no worries from me. I have let it go and I hope you can too.
Be the bigger and more mature person!! AND ENJOY your time, even without their help. Its your wedding time, dont let them ruin your fun!