Bridemaids and bridal shower

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No it’s not normal to host your own shower.  I guess traditionally the BMs are supposed to.  I don’t have BMs, but a very close family friend wanted to throw me one anyways.  Someone should volunteer to do this for you.  Does anyone know that you are doing this on your own?  Maybe ask for some help from family and friends.  Maybe they’ll get the hint and take over.

Post # 4
Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@craftymandy:  Definitely not normal.  How did you even begin starting to plan it?

Post # 5
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Personally, if my BMs weren’t throwing me the shower I wouldn’t have one at all. It seems strange to plan your own.

Post # 6
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You cannot throw your own bridal shower. Asking people to attend your party to give you gifts is just rude. If no one volunteers to host a shower for you, then you just don’t have one. A bridesmaid’s job is to show up to the rehearsal, and show up to the wedding sober and in a presentable outfit. That’s it. Everything else is a bonus.

If you want a day to get together with people prior to the wedding, you can always throw a party or invite people out for lunch (or whatever), but it won’t be a bridal shower.

 

Post # 7
Member
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@whoa_its_ash:  +1. My mom is throwing mine and my BM’s are assisting.

Post # 8
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@craftymandy:  I wouldn’t try to host my own shower.  For one, you are too stressed with all the wedding stuff to think about another party.  For another, I don’t think that is socially acceptable.  It seems gift grabby.

However, your maids should step up to the plate.  I had issues with this as well.  Luckily, one maid stepped up and got a couple of my friends to help her out.

Has no one offered to give you a shower at all?

 

Post # 9
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You are never to host your own shower or any other event that is centered around you getting gifts.

As far as bridesmaids “roles”, there are basically 2 schools of thought:

1) The “Just-Show-Up-Not-Drunk-And-In-Your-Dress” Bride

2) The “You’re-Now-My-Party-Planner” Bride.

#1 is usually much more well-recieved. I would suggest not throwing your own shower OR talking to your maids about “stepping it up.”

Post # 11
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@badabing88:  I agree that the maids don’t owe it to her to throw a shower but I would feel like I should if I were a maid.  If your maids don’t care, who does?

Post # 12
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@craftymandy:  Not normal to host your own. Agree with PPs… reach out to the BMs, family and friends for their hosting help!

Post # 13
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsM914:  No one, potentially. I know several gals who weren’t thrown a shower, it doesnt happen for everyone I guess.

Post # 14
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@craftymandy:  So they brought up the idea of them hosting a shower and then had you help plan and pay?  Um no.  If they want to host a shower for you, they should do what is affordable.  Unless you insist it be at a specific location, why can’t they just have it at their house?

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