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Your MOH sounds like a real flake...BUT, have you asked her what is going on in her life? Sometimes we as brides are so centered around our wedding planning that we lose peripheral vision of what is going on in our attendants lives. Talk to her and see why she keeps cancelling on you (ESPECIALLY when you changed your plans for her!!). If she continues to be MIA, I would just ask another BM to be co-MOH. If your MOH still doesn't step up, tell her that you're very happy that she's going to be part of your day, but that her busy schedule has forced (other BM) to pick up her slack and so you would like to honor (other BM) as MOH instead.
I would tell her to deal with it or have her step down. It doesn't seem like she really wants to be your MOH and if you pay for her dress, so you think she will pay you back or are you willing to add the cost of her dress to your budget. I think your sister or your other friend would make a better choice. JMHO
Oh man, that's crazy annoying. It sounds like she's obviously not making your wedding a priority so I'd tell her that is the dress she needs to wear, this is the time you're going and if she doesn't come then she'll have to arrange another time to go alone. I honestly would have a hard time not asking her why she seems to intentionally make herself unavailable. I would just have to ask, but not in accusatory way, you don't want to come off combative.
You know, I can forgive a lot of BM flakiness. But to ask you to change your plans so she could see the dress, and then cancel yet again????
I agree with asking her what's up. So many times we get these posts. Maybe she has money issues, or jealousy issues, or you name it... But ultimately if she can't pull it together, you're going to have to basically tell her, "this is the decision." If she's in she'll get it done (buy the dress, shoes etc.) If she doesn't get it done, she's not going to be in the wedding.
Good luck.
Choose the dress and color that your sister & your bride’s maid chose. You gave your MOH lots of chances to get her feedback but she’s always cancelled. If you keep waiting for her and if she keeps flaking out, you’ll never get anything done.
Come to think of it….does she really want to be MOH? It seems like she’s too busy (and flaky) to help you out. Hope all goes well.
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Help! I can’t tell you how upset I am, well I am not sure if upset is the right words to describe how I am feeling. So let me put it this way… I am frustrated with my MOH. It seems that every time I plan something wedding related she is unavailable or cancels. When it came to shopping for my dress she was not able to come on one particular night, which just happens to be the night I found the dress and since I wanted my mom and daughter to see the dress and would love my MOH input, I scheduled another appointment for that Saturday at 10am. I asked my MOH to come along, but she was busy, ok I understood, as my request was last minute but it would have been nice for her to come. So the next wedding event was a lesson in diy invitations, she was scheduled to come with me and at the last moment cancel. Luckily my other best friend and bridesmaid was able to rearrange her schedule to come with me.
So you ask what has pushed me over my edge, for three weeks we have been planning a shopping trip to pick out the bridesmaid dresses, since the color of the bridesmaid dresses will ultimately determine the final colors to be used in our wedding it is imperative that we decide on this shortly, and once again I get a text message from my MOH stating that she can not come that something has come up. So off I go with my two bridesmaids, and we end up finding a dress that looks great on my size 6 girl and on my plus size sister. The problem is they don’t have the sizes in the store and they are on clearance, but a store in Toronto has them. So I send a quick text to my MOH, who replies, you can’t make a decision without me. So I quickly texted back that they are perfect they look great on and they are on sale. So she gives me her size, she is also a plus size and I am very concerned about my girls looking their best and since my sister is a bigger then my MOH, it should be fine. So we drove 45 minutes to the store only to find out that the dresses are not actually in the store but are to be delivered during the week. So, a little deflated we left.
So yesterday my MOH texts me and asks me what I am doing that evening and if I could take her to see the dress. I told her I could rearrange what I had planned and we could go, so I make arrangements for someone to watch my kids and 40 minutes before I am suppose to pick her up she cancels. I also got a call that 2 of the three dresses are in at the store in Toronto so my sister who is still a little worried about the dress fitting would like to go on Thursday to try on the dress before we make our final decision.
What should I do about my MOH? Just tell her this is the dress and deal with it or continue to try and take her to see the dress. They are only willing to hold the dresses until Saturday. For me doing different dresses on all the girls would drive me crazy since I am such a control freak, and if I did that I would have to approve each dress, this way it is easier, and did I mention that these dresses are 80% off!!!