(Closed) bridemaids- same hair same dress same shoes… thoughts?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: same hair same dress same shoes
    go for it, its your weddng. : (42 votes)
    62 %
    no. my bridemaids didnt like that idea : (19 votes)
    28 %
    shoes.. really? : (7 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6745 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    You can ask for whatever you’re paying for!  I don’t think it’s a lot to ask.

    I would just consider though – not every girl looks good in the same hairstyle and not every girl is comfortable in the same shoes.  So, just take that into consideration! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    233 posts
    Helper bee

    I like the same dress and shoes but would probably have their hair similiar but styled to suit their particular face shape.

    I was a bridesmaid before and we were identical other than our hair but we both had it curled and up but in slightly different styles.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2425 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I put my girls in the same dress, but let them pick their shoes in the assigned color. I paid for their hair, but let them pick the style. I didn’t want my girls to look like clones.

    It’s up to you though, if you are paying for it you can certainly demand they do it a certain way, but it may make them unhappy if they don’t feel it’s flattering.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11753 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Mine will have same dress and ideally shoes (depending what color dresses I pick probably).  They all have to get their hair done profesionally, but I’m leaving the exact style up to each individual, though I hope they all choose to pull it up.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4433 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would do same dress different color, same color shades…different dress….or everything the same except hair and shoes.

    Post # 8
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    When you talk about everything matching I start imagining those Robert Palmer videos from the 80s with the backup dancing clones. Honestly, I think it’s weird to want to have your bridesmaids look identical down to their shoes and hair. If you’re paying for their shoes then that’s not an unreasonable request (as long as everyone is comfortable in the shoes) but I have to admit I don’t really understand the impulse. Of the five weddings I’ve been in only one bride dictated my shoes and hairstyle and the hairstyle looked so horrible on me that I took it down and wore it loose. Women can be particular about their hair and what type of do they’re comfortable wearing.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t think it’s too much if you’re paying for it. However, I think you’ll need to be flexible about exactly which shoes or which hairstyle you want to use. Maybe give three options for each and take your maids’ feedback into account. Don’t just be like, “Here is your hairstyle,” and “Here are the shoes you are wearing.”

    My maids have different hair types and different lengths of hair, so using the same hairstyle for all of them would be tricky. On top of that, they are different heights, and one of my (very tall) maids is very uncomfortable in heels, so she’s wearing flats whereas the other girls want heels.

    Hopefully, all your maids can agree on one hairstyle and one shoe they all like. If it’s making you insane to coordinate, though, consider asking them all to do a similar hairstyle (e.g. all chignons, or all half-up) and pick the same shade and style of shoe (e.g. all silver peeptoes). It’s worth it to make everything the same if it means a lot to you, but not if it’s making you a crazy bride trying to get everyone to agree.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5786 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    If you’re paying its not unreasonable. Personally I don’t like when everyone looks exactly the same. There is no way the same hairstyle is the most flattering for each girl so why make them not look their best in the interest of uniformity?

    Post # 11
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I would be 100% fine with this as a bridesmaid, especially since you’re paying. I’ve done this before at a couple weddings I’ve been in… it looks nice!

    Post # 12
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @Eglantine:  THIS.  

    I understand liking uniformity, and I also get you are paying for it so yes you can do whatever you want, but will they all look good with the SAME hair? Also will pictures look weird as they will all be clones? Honeslty I’m not trying to be mean but the only reason I can see that you would want them to look EXACLTY the same is so that they blend in and you are the center.. which I get… but Idk I just wanted my girls to look like themselves. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2702 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If you’re paying for the hair, makeup, and shoes then you can definitely have them all matching if you want.  However, you should take their comfort into consideration.  For istance, don’t make them all wear 6″ heels if one girl has foot problems or they just aren’t comfortable in them.

    For my girls though, they have different dresses (same color, lenght, and fabric though), different shoes (something neutral), and will wear their hair differently (since they all have varying lengths).  I personally prefer the mis-matched look over the matchy-matchy look.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think wearing the same dress and shoes is ok. But I think it’s robbs the girls of the only few ways they have to express themselves, and also factor in the fact that it can be hard to find a style that flatters all of them. I say ask them and be ok with the fact that they may not like or want the same hairstyle, and let it go if that what happens.

    Post # 15
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Eglantine:  this is what I think too!

    My BM’s are slightly varying ages so I wanted them to be comfortable…I did end up going with same dress (shawl for those who want to cover arms or whatever) and let them choose shoes (in silver) and do whatever they want for hair and makeup….

    I want them to be comfortable for the day……they don’t need to look like back up dancers…lol

    Post # 16
    Member
    8884 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I actually like having everything the same, it’s what I’ve invisioned since I was a little girl.  My girls have the same dress, shoes and hair. They haven’t minded a bit, plus I’m paying for the hair anyway.  If they are okay with what you want, go for it!

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