(Closed) Bridemaids: should I give gifts or pay for their dresses?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I give for bridesmaid gifts?
    Cover the cost of their dresses, and a pashmina : (41 votes)
    85 %
    Pashmina, and other small gift : (7 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If it were me, I’d choose to have you cover the cost of my dress and throw in a pashmina. Everyone likes pashminas, right? And not having to pay for the dress is also a definite crowd-pleaser, whereas they might not like or use whatever other gift you pick out.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1371 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would 100% prefer my dress to be paid for over another gift.  I think it’s great that you can afford to do this!  Also, I got a pashmina as a gift in the last wedding I was in, and I loved it.  Good picks!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would definitely chose having my dress paid for!

    Post # 6
    Member
    1556 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I think paying for their dresses is a wonderful gesture.  If I were a bridesmaid, I’d much rather be given the dress I have to wear than to pay for a dress I might or might not wear again and be given a gift.

    Paying for the dresses also makes things easier on you.  Now you don’t have the added stress of deciding on a gift that suits all of them (or worse, individual gifts for them) and shopping for them and wrapping them.  WIN WIN!!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I don’t think the dress should be considered a “gift.” I’m sure since you’re making them yourself, they will be really cute, but I’d say the chances are still slim that they will be very re-wearable. I also don’t know that I’d make my BMs give me the money for materials if I chose to go that route. It would seem a little counter-productive to take money from them and then turn around and give them a separate gift. How many BMs are you having?

     

    ETA: that was confusing. I think what I’m trying to say is that my vote is make the dresses out of your own pocket, and also give them a small token of your appreciation for their help in your wedding.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I am 100% against a BM dress as a gift. However 1 maid has speicifically requested I pay for something (shoes, hair, dress) in leiu of a gift. I have agreed ONLY because she asked. A BM dress is not a gift. A gift is a gift. And my other maids are getting a personalized gift for each maid based on her individual tastes.

    My eco friendly maid is sooo not into clutch purses and my fashion concious friend is soo not down with cheap jewlery so I’ll be picking a gift based on each girl not some genaric gift that they may or may not like and they certainly aren’t getting the same thing.

    I guess to answer you question you should honestly ask them.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    personally, i would prefer if you paid for my dress and gave a small gift, like a pashmina.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Hmp, I honestly surprised! I can honestly say I’d feel kind of jibbed if a bride was like hey, to thank you for being such a great BM, I’m going to buy your dress (implying not thank you token gift). When I accepted to be a BM I have also accepted to expect to pay for my dress.

    (Unless money was something I was worried about in which case I would most certainly appriciate not having to forck out the money for the dress)

    Post # 13
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Honestly, a lot of the jewelry and clutches that I have received and seen people get as BM gifts don’t get a lot of use.  I would much rather have the bride purchase the dress.  Then I could take the $100+ I saved and do what I wanted with it!  I think this is a great option unless you know of a gift that you are sure your BMs will love.

    Post # 14
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’ve been a BM many times.  I always end up paying a lot for an ugly dress that I can’t wear again.  Then I end up getting ugly jewelry to match the dress as a gift.  Or a clutch that’s too fancy to use.  I would MUCH rather not have to pay for a dress I won’t use than put something else I won’t use (but, will feel like I have to save because I don’t want to hurt my friends feelings) in my closet 

    Post # 15
    Member
    151 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I completely agree with vmec. When asked to be in a wedding, I always expect to pay for the dress myself.

    Since the BM dress is a reflection of the bride and HER style for HER wedding… how is that a gift to me?

    The topic ‘Bridemaids: should I give gifts or pay for their dresses?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors