Post # 1
This is a tough subject for me to talk about, but I am writing in here because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of information or advice elsewhere. My father has been a diabetic his whole life and the doctors have been telling him year after year to take better care of himself. Over the years he has had several toes amputated due to infection. Within the past year the bones in one of his ankles have started to deteriorate. Now the past two weeks or so we have found out he has yet another infection in his foot and the doctors are insisting on amputating that leg from the knee down. I am so upset and scared and worried for my father. I am even more nervous as he is over 400 lbs and fear something bad will happen during the surgery (or worse I should say). Anyway, I feel selfish for thinking about the wedding during this time, but the wedding is less than 3 months away.. I am so worried my father will not make it or won’t be able to attend the wedding due to recovery time. He seems to think he will be well enough to attend, but I just don’t know. Not only that I am worrying about missing out on him walking me down the aisle and father daughter dance.. the special things I am supposed to share with my dad. I just wondered if anyone else had a similar situation and could shed some light?
Post # 2
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
The only advice I can give is that you must stay positive! Try not to think about the “what if”s, because you’ll only stress yourself out. Although, I realize this is easier said than done.
My mother had a back surgery about three months before my destination wedding. It was certainly not ideal timing for anyone, but this stuff happens sometimes. I kept myself preoccupied with planning prior to the surgery to keep myself distracted and then assisting her as much as I could when she was recovering. Although she was not fully herself by the time the wedding rolled around (she was incredibly tired/worn out and sore due to the surgery and travel) but we still had a really great time together and got some nice photos.
Like I said, try to stay positive and good luck to your father!
Post # 3
slmchenry: I do hope your father is well enough to attend your wedding. Worse comes to worse, a lot of hospitals and rehab centers will release a patient for short periods of time to attend special events. While your dad may not be well enough to attend the full night, he should be well enough to sit through the ceremony, to take some pictures and maybe even to your first dance (really depends on his condition, comfort and the timing of your wedding events). I know its not ideal, but at least he will be there for the most important parts. You could always consider hiring a nurse privately for the day to help him. I mean I dont know how realistic it is. It really depends on his overall condition. Keep positive. Some people recovery very quickly and some recover very slowly. The most important thing is a safe healthy recovery, no matter the speed (I know, you know that). I wish you and your dad well.
* another just tibbit to consider: wheel chair friendly transportation and/or learning how to transfer your dad from car to wheelchair and viseversa. That is also another condition in which they will consider when releasing a patient for the day. If you have a private nurse, they should be trained, but as your dad is no small fry, it may take 2 people to get him in and out of a chair..
(Most amputees can use crutches after surgery, but it is very tiresome and larger people have more difficulty with them, so he maybe in a wheelchair until he is fit and adjusted to a prostthesis)
Post # 4
SunflowerGarden: Thank you! You’re right.. Everything will turn out great even if he cannot be there 100%. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of the bigger picture!
Post # 5
SparkleBee11: Thank you! I will definitely look into the nurse. I hadn’t really even thought about it or who was going to help him in/out of cars etc. Thanks for the great information and support! I will try to stay positive!