Post # 1
First time poster, mostly looking at the pregnancy boards, but I have a question for brides.
A friend of mine invited me to her wedding. I will be almost exactly 40 weeks pregnant on her wedding day. She and I were very close in high school and I would really like to go, but obviously I might have other things going on. Her ceremony is being held at a church 1 block from the hospital I’m delivering at so if I am able to, I would really like to at least go to the ceremony in the afternoon. I know first time moms have a tendency to go past their due dates so I might be able to at least swing the ceremony.
The response card is really only for the reception since it has the dinner options. How should I respond? I just want to make sure I make it clear that she does not need to add me to her dinner count. I wouldn’t feel comfortable having her spend money for me to eat and drink when I couldn’t guarantee I could be there. Any thoughts or tips? Thanks in advance!
Post # 2
I would decline on the rsvp card, then include a personal note asking if she would mind if I stopped by for the cermony only, if the fates allow. If she doesn’t know that you will be 40 weeks pregnant, I would include that information.
Post # 3
Katie-Didnt: i would include a personal note telling her just that. a friend of mines wife was due on my wedding date… didnt realize that after i sent them out. he was born a week before and was my youngest guest!! i loved sending them the pictures of babys first outing. brave woman venturing out a week after. he was soo cute and it was a lovley sunny day.
Post # 4
Katie-Didnt: This situation came up at our wedding. The gal was best friends with my DH in high school, and so now we hang out with her and her husband, and us!!
Regardless, her due date was our wedding date!! She had told us this when we announced the date, and had said ‘as long as there is a wet floor sign (in case her water broke), they were gonna be there!) – joking, of course. We just wanted her to deliver a healthy baby, so no worries either way. When our invites were sent, she reached out to me via email telling us to exclude her, and her hubby from dinner, but to include their seats. It was really sweet she was thinking of our costs vs. her uncertainty, but at our venue it is an ‘all or nothing package’. If her and her hubby were going to be there, without eating, but he were to have a drink, or she were to drink a pop, then the cost is the same either way: per person, not per item! So, I told her to pick their food entrees, and NOT TO WORRY about our costs! We just wanted them there, and if they could not be, then it was not wasting X dollars for us, because it means she was going to have a baby.
She ended up going into labor 3 days beforehand, so could not be in attendance, and we could care less. The baby is so damn cute. Reach out to your friend NOW, and ask her what she suggests 🙂
Post # 5
Katie-Didnt: I’d let her know what your situation is on the RSVP card.
If you think there’s a possibility of being able to go to the reception, then I’d note what your preferred entre is and ask when the last date you’d be able to give her a firm yes/no for the caterer is. You may have a better idea of when the bean’s coming closer to the due date.
I had a few people put notes into their RSVPs. There were a few iffy guests who had issues out of their control to deal with and I knew the venue would over-prepare by 3%, so I didn’t include them in my final count.
Post # 6
Katie-Didnt: Just tell her what you told us. In case 2 guests cancel, between when the final numbers are due for dinner, and the wedding, and you end up being able to attend, you fill their seats, and then the meals won’t go to waste.
Post # 7
I would give her a call and explain. Then decline on the RSVP but write in a note that you hope to be able to make it for the ceremony.
Post # 8
Katie-Didnt: Congratulations!!! Best wishes to you for a smooth pregnancy and labor and a healthy birth.
It’s great that you’re being so considerate of your friend when you will be in such unpredictable circumstances, and I’m sure she will want you to do whatever is most comfortable for you. Just tell her exactly what you told us.
Post # 9
Wow, you guys are speedy on the responses! Thanks so much for your thoughts!
I think I will give her a call and let her know what my plan is and see how she feels about it, along with declining and sending her a note of my plan. I know how overwhelmed I was planning my wedding so I’ll just make sure I reach out to her both ways. She does know I’m pregnant, but I don’t know how aware she is of my actual due date. I really would like to be there, but I can’t predict the future on when little munchkin will decide to make his/her grand entrance. I’ll see what she says.
Thanks again for the responses. I really appreciate it.
Post # 10
I would also like to add that I think it’s great you are being considerate of your friend and costs. My friend recently got married and her cousin was due a few days before the Wedding but she kept insisitng that she was going to make the Wedding no matter what. So, ofcourse she ends up giving birth the day of the Wedding. Her cousin’s mom and dad and sisters decided to not come to the Wedding (even though they could of made it for dinner) and all together it was about 10 people that stayed at the hospital and she lost about over 1.5k on them not coming.
Post # 11
SO’s cousin is getting married 2 days before my due date. We inclosed a little note saying we are sorry we will not be able to attend but we cannot guarantee that we will be there.
When I told FMIL that I wanted to go, have a drink and try to dance the baby out, she looked horrified, so I figured that wasn’t the way to go. hahaha