(Closed) Brides in your 30's & 40's…who is paying for your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Money
  • poll: Brides in your 30's and 40's...who is paying for your wedding & reception?
    Bride's family : (11 votes)
    8 %
    Bride and groom will cover all expenses : (81 votes)
    59 %
    Combination of bride/groom and bride's family : (18 votes)
    13 %
    Combination of contributions from both bride's & groom's families : (19 votes)
    14 %
    Other scenario (please explain) : (9 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    687 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I am 30, Fiance is 28. My mom offered to help me pay my dress and veil and FI’s parents aew paying the church, venue and reception meals. They are very generous so they offered although we said we are paying our whole wedding ourselves, so we consider it a wedding gift 🙂

    Post # 4
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Fi and I, and then my father surprised us with his offer to pay for the venue/reception.

    I *heart* my dad…. 

    Post # 5
    9627 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’re in our forties and we’re paying for our wedding and reception ourselves. We’re also requesting no gifts and we have not registered anywhere  We’ve both been married before and have an established household, we really don’t need anything.  We’ve requested the pleasure of our guests’ presence only.

    Post # 6
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’ll be 34 and my parents are going to pay – for all of it. They have the money saved up, it just took me a long time to get to a place to use it – ha!

    They are super excited to get started. I feel slightly guilty about it but I try not to, it is something they have always wanted to do.

    Post # 7
    735 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My Darling Husband and I paid for our wedding.  We’re 30 & 27.  We’ve been financially independant sice graduating, so we didn’t even think that anyone else would contribute to a wedding that we wanted and planned.  We’re fortunate to have solid jobs, but if we hadn’t had the money to pay for the wedding we wanted, we’d have scaled back.  We feel that we’re getting to the point where we should start helping out our parents, not taking financial help from them.

    Our parents were incredibly generous though; his parents hosted our rehearsal dinner (a lovely evening at their home) – as a wedding gift; and my parents hired the photographer (a good friend of my mom’s) as a wedding gift.

    Post # 8
    14498 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I was 40 when I married and Darling Husband and I paid for it all ourselves.  DH was out of work for a while before our wedding and my dad lent us a good portion of it but we did have it all paid back within a few months.

    Post # 9
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Mr. Cajun & I are handling the bulk of the expenses, but everyone’s pitching in something.  My parents are paying for my dress and the cake, and Mama I gave us a sizable check that’s enough to cover the rehearsal and still have quite a bit left over for whatever else we need.  Others have given us numerous gift cards/prepaid cards that have gone toward covering various other expenses.

    Post # 10
    4150 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We’re in our early thirties (31 and 32), and my family is paying for our wedding.  That’s always been tradition in my family and my dad never questioned it, even though I’m in my thirties.

    Post # 11
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    At 44 years old I hardly think it’s appropriate for me to ask my 73 year old retired and widowed mother to foot the bill for my wedding.  LOL 

    Post # 12
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I selected: “Combination of contributions from both bride’s & groom’s families” but we also paid as well.  (You should add that poll option.)  My parents gave the sum they had given my sister 13 years ago (a bit increased for inflation) and my brother 5 years ago. 

    We tried to decline my MIL’s contribution because she’s done a lot for my Darling Husband, but she kept insisting and included it in the card she gave us post wedding so we gave in.  Father-In-Law gave a combination of money towards the wedding + gift (which we used to pay for the wedding).  Together his parents gave a bit more than mine…but that’s only because my parents “counted” about $1500 of things to the tally such as my grandmother’s haircut, grandmother & their hotel rooms (parents live 30 mins away), mom’s haircut, two dresses my mom bought for the wedding (one she cut up to make a shawl because the first was strapless), that I didn’t consider really part of my wedding budget.

    ETA: All parents offered and could afford it.  I also find something upsetting in the idea that if I got married at 20 like my sibs, it’s ok for them to pay, but if you wait for the right person and get married in your 30s, it’s considered not ok to accept and you are judged for doing so.  Shouldn’t the standard be the same?  My parents didn’t offer to pay for my grad school or a downpayment on an apartment instead in my 20s, which I certainly could have used at the time.  So no, I don’t feel guilty for accepting the same sum that my siblings did (particularly considering more of their friends attended my wedding than attended my sibs). 

    Post # 13
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I’m in my early 30’s and Fiance is about to turn 30. Both out families are contributing as it’s a first marriage for both of us. It’s going to be a 3 way split. They all want to put money in but I detest the idea of a big fancy wedding (an age thing perhaps?) so we are only having a small wedding with amazing food and drinks.

    I should add that my parents paid for my sisters whole wedding 8 years ago (approx 25k) so I believe they always expected to contribute to my wedding but it certainly wasnt assumed or expected on my part. My Fiance has never had a wedding in their family so both parents are thrilled about the wedding and to be helping out. 


    Post # 14
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We are an “Encore” Couple… both having been married before

    First time round… was the 1980s for me… I was in my early 20s. 

    Back then, we did the tradtional split of expenses… My Parents paid for the Wedding & Reception, His Parents for the Rehearsal Dinner etc, and My Ex and I for everything else.

    This time round…

    We are both much older and established… I in my 50s, Mr TTR in his 60s.  We are Eloping to a Destination Wedding (just the two of us saying our Vows on a Beach).  Followed by a nice Honeymoon, and a Back-Home Reception.

    Unlike our past, and a “traditonal” family wedding…

    Our biggest expenses will NOT BE the Reception… but rather our Rings (E-Ring & W-Bands) and the Honeymoon.

    We are going to pay for everything ourselves, and costs will be split aprox 50-50… although we are each taking care of different items off the overall list.  Mr TTR has the bulk of the Honeymoon, and I have the majority of the Wedding and Informal Back Home Reception.

    Lol, my alotment of the Ceremony Expenses are higher than his, because of course I am paying for my own Gown and Accessories, Hair & Make-Up etc.

    We don’t expect any financial help from Family members, but do assume that there will be some sort of Wedding Gift(s).

    Hope this helps in your Poll info,


    Post # 15
    869 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Fiance & I are paying for everything

    Post # 16
    2961 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I am 42 and FH is 31 and there is no way we would ever consider asking our parents for help. After all, we are adults. Now if they offered, that would be another matter.

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