(Closed) Brides- lets be realistic.

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good advice. I was a wedding vendor as well, but thankfully I haven’t had too much trouble with brides trying to get me to work for free! Law clients…different story. I just got a headache behind my ear just thinking about it. Ugh.

Post # 5
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@kinneybride:  I agree, but also when a vendor is clearly overpriced-they shouldn’t be offended when brides ask if they are willing to negotiate.

We just want a good and fair deal- vendors shouldn’t be offended by that

Post # 6
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@kinneybride: i get what youre saying, and it makes sense…to an extent

i do kind of get why brides ask for discounts though. You dont lose anything by asking, and ‘dont ask dont get’. for example a lot of hotels with waive ceremony fees with a food and drink minimum etc – by asking, ive known brides to save hundreds of dollars. hotels wouldnt do it if they were sacrificing all profit. Your linen example and similar things – 100% agree

Also, some places do inflate prices a LOT, far beyond what is reasonable. For example my venue tried to tell me i should use their mariachi band as it was the best – and it cost over 2100 dollars for 40 minutes(!!!!!) Living in Mexico, im aware of standard prices and quality both in my area and in playa del carmen where im having my wedding. fi (who is mexican) and i have seen them play live, and the alternatives that were around and we found a superior group for well under half the cost. so i had no qualms in telling the venue that they werent offering quality OR value for money. So sometimes its not brides with unrealistic expectations, but rather venues or planners trying to make a quick buck at the couples expense. The infamous “foreigner tax” in mexico for example, which is why i ask my mexican fi handle a lot of the queries. Im not trying to screw people out of a living or having a champagne wedding on a beer/kool aid budget but i will always look for the best deal

i do think people lose sight of the big picture however and of course the marriage is so much more important than the wedding

Post # 7
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I asked for discounts but usually it wasn’t just like a straight up discount it was either a volume discount or a bundled discount. I never really just low-balled them though I’d ask something like my budget is $x and I was hoping for a,b,c is that possible, can we work with that somehow and then we’d negotiate like reasonable people! I don’t think either one of us got jibbed at the end of the day and

I know people who wanted a 150+ person amazing gorgeous wedding in the expensive Vancouver do be done at 15k… NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

…being realistic is GREAT advice.

Post # 8
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MissFireFlower:  Honestly I think there is a difference between a good deal and a fair deal.  While something fitting between the average range of costs would be a fair deal– you’re not getting gouged, you’re paying a price that fits in the standard range for a certain type of product.  Finding something below that range of similar quality would be a good deal.  It sounds like a lot of brides are looking for amazing deals for everything.

OP, from your post it sounds like a lot of brides out there don’t know how to negotiate.  While I find no problem with a bride asking for a discount (for example maybe free delivery if they add in more rental items than they were originally looking for so the vendor is getting a larger rental amount), there are standards and things need to be within reason.

It reminds me a lot of when we sold our first house and had a lot of house hunting newbies thinking that because it was a down market, they could get our shirt.  We rejected the first two offers because they were just insulting and we didn’t want to try to haggle with someone with that mindset.  We knew we would sell for under the asking price, but there is something to be said about not alienating your vendor.

Brides, if you are planning on honing your negotiating skills, I would recommend listening to Slates Negotiation Academy (I think it’s on iTunes).  You cannot attempt to hold the vendor hostage because you have money, because honestly that’s not the only consideration to getting a good deal.

One bride recently had a post about how she got creative with getting bargains for her wedding which involved sometimes getting lower prices because she could offer a service that some of her vendors needed or wanted as well.  I’m glad I’m not selling anything from my wedding because I keep hearing these horror stories of brides trying to take vendors or other brides to the cleaners.

Post # 9
6360 posts
Bee Keeper

I really think the “wedding” items are very marked-up, but my solution is to avoid things marketed for “weddings.” There’s often the same thing sold for different purposes without the crazy markup.

Post # 10
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@joya_aspera:  +1

Also I do believe in asking for perks and discounts. The worst thing is for the vendor to say “no” and that was the boat you’re originally in anyway. I think its fair to ask for “realistic” discounts… Every single one of my vendors gave me something or marked something down. Even my ceremony venue vendor marked the fee down by $500 because she said I was a bride that was great to work with and it was a “gift” from her and her manager.

Post # 11
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@LittleCricket:  actually i think that you phrased it better than i did – the difference between a good and a fair deal

everyone wants a good deal…of course, but i personally am willing to pay a fair price. If a service is way way above average costs, i want to know why before ill consider using that service. Is is a quality difference? is it worth it?

My venue does offer a lot of inflated priced services. for example, 2 pieces of fabric for rental for 850 dollars to be hung from the ceiling. luckily i have a great wedding planner, who has found them (and people to hang them) for 350 dollars, with exact same material, colour,dimensions etc

i dont badger people to get prices down, but ill search for the best deals available. otherwise i may as well pile up a stack of dollar bills an burn them!

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