Brides made/MOH issues :(

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

First, congrats on your engagement!

Now onto your issue. I think you would benefit from changing your idea of what it means to be a bridesmaid. The role of the bridesmaid is to stand up with the bride on her wedding day, bear witness to and pledge support for the marriage, and help out the bride on the wedding day. As long as a maid shows up sober, in an agreed-upon outfit, with a smile on her face, she’s done her job. Anything else that a bridesmaid may do is a bonus, not a requirement.

That said, a shower can be thrown by anyone (except the bride). It doesn’t have to be thrown by the bridesmaids at all. So not having an MOH doesn’t mean that no one will step up and choose to throw a shower in your honor. Likewise, a bachelorette can be planned by anyone who wants to take on that task. It doesn’t have to be a MOH. And if no one plans a bachelorette for you, you can always invite your good friends out for a night anyway. There is nothing stopping a bride from planning a fun night out with her friends!

As to your question about your FI’s sister, you are going to have to ask yourself which option is worse…. having her and being unhappy or not having her and making your FMIL unhappy. Only you know the answer. I would pick the lesser of the two evils. It’s not ideal, but sometimes we have to make hard choices. What does your FI think/want?

As a final thought, you can also choose guys to stand up with you. If you have close guy friends (or your brothers???), it’s totally cool to ask them to stand with you and be your bridesmen.

Good luck!

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