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Mine is in less than 2 weeks and we are having a small wedding due to monetary reasons. We pushed up the wedding date so we did not have the finances for a big budget affair.
I didn't have it yet but I can share my insight. I have a small family, which was a primary reason for having a small gathering. Also, I think the whole day is about us, so I wanted to forgo the hullaballoo and stress that comes with entertaing 150 people. I really wanted it to be just the two of us but he declined it. We do get one day, but it doesnt compare to the rest of our lives, and to me thats the most important part.
But that's just me
We were planning a 50-person wedding with most of the bells and whistles, but after a couple of major life changes (change in financial situation and the passing of my great-aunt), we decided to bump our wedding up almost an entire year and cut it down. We ended up going to the courthouse with our nearest and dearest, then had a restaurant reception with them plus a few friends and relatives who couldn't make it to the ceremony.
We haven't had ours yet either, but we'll be having a 30 - 40 person wedding. Part of this was finances - we are trying to save for a house and didn't want to blow our downpayment on a wedding. But we are also just more comfortable with an intimate environment. Neither of us wanted to be the center of attention, and though we weren't at all interested in tradition, we did want to have a meaningful, fun day to mark the occassion. So a small wedding is perfect for us.
We're having a small wedding in about 5 days.. =) We decided on having a small wedding rather then a bigger on with more family and friends because it was right for our finances, our current lifestyle and the type of wedding that we wanted.. something small and simple. We're having our ceremony in our backyard (we have a fairly big backyard) and our reception in a private dining room in a nice fine dining restaurant. very simple very small with only 18 guest (immediate family only). It worked out better because theirs been less stressed involved. Originally we were planning for a 60 guest wedding but it became too stressful and too expensive in the city. So we went with something that works for us. I just hope everything goes as planned and there are no "harsh" feelings with extended family members.. or at least if their is their nice to our face haha
We had 54 guests at our wedding last year and it was perfect! Both my DH and I don't have any extended family in Canada and so 54 people included our immediate family, a few extended family that flew over and all of our friends!!!
It was so perfect! On that day I could look around the room and see that everyone we love was in one place celebrating our love!
Our wedding still had all of the traditional elements of a big wedding on a small scale.
You can check out my recaps 1, 2, 2B, 3, 4, 5, 6 if you are interested!
Our wedding was 55 people - I don't know if that counts as small, but I'm happy to share! There were several reasons. My DH HATES being the center of attention and big parties stress him out. He was also really opposed to spending a lot of money on a wedding. He would have been happy to elope, but I wanted my nearest and dearest there. We decided to have it at my mom's house, both as a way to save money on a venue but also to keep the casual, intimate, this-is-just-a-party feeling. And that also meant we had to keep the guest list small.
So we made a rule. No one invited who wasn't emotionally close to at least one of us. This cut out parents' friends, random coworkers, that girl you haven't talked to in a year, and, for him, all his aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was hard, but he has almost 30 aunts and uncles, and he's not close to any of them. As in, never ever talkes to them at all. So it didn't make sense for us to bump our guest list by 1/3 to 1/2 for people neither of us knows. And as for me, I have no aunts/uncles/cousins, so it was "fair" (no extended family invited) but I didn't have to exclude anyone I cared about.
Our wedding was perfect. All the people who came were incredibly meaningful and important to us, and there was no one who made you say, "who on earth is that, and why did they just watch me say the most intimate and important words I'll ever speak?"
We're having a VERY small wedding... just the two of us! We decided on eloping because we've both been married before, and didn't care for all the hoopla of a big do. Also, we wanted to focus on us, and our relationship, rather than stress about planning a big event. We're doing the dress/suit/bouquet/photog/cake/fancy dinner... everything except guests really. And, we got to splurge on ourselves! During the week we're away we're going on a vineyard tour, spending a day at a spa, and taking a champagne helicopter tour!
I just want to pop in and say that if FI and I didn't have such HUGE families...we would have loved to have a small wedding. Our wedding is considered small at 300 people. My parents' was 500 and my aunt's was 650.
However, we plan on doing a vow renewal in 5-10 years and it will be TINY. probably just 4 guests- our best friends and their spouses. I love the idea of an extremely intimate affair, it is so romantic and meaningful.
Our small wedding is in less than 6 weeks, and we are 100% thrilled with our decision. we wanted a small wedding for lots of reasons.
One, Mr. LK and I prefer small gatherings and feel more comfortable at them.
Two, I have a huge family, but there are quite a few of them that I could really do without. Having a small wedding significantly decreased the family drama level. (Note: This didn't eliminate ALL family dramaz, but it helped.)
Three, having a small wedding means that we can afford to pamper our guests, which is how we prefer to entertain. Our philospohy is "Do it right, or don't do it at all." Our other philosophy is "Pay in cash." Our small wedding allowed us to fully embrace both philosophies simultaneously.
Four, a small wedding opened up a lot of venues that would otherwise be off limits. It also excluded a lot of the more wedding factory venues because we could not meet their minimums. I am NOT a wedding factory girl, so this worked well for me.
Five, a small wedding makes it a lot easier to accomodate the wishes of others without gutting your own vision and goals. Quite simply, with less people to please, planning is easier. It also helps that we are footing the vast majority of the budget ourselves, so we maintain complete creative control (see reason three).
Six, we will get to spend quality time with each and evry guest. We invited 34 and it looks like 31-32 of our invited guests will attend. With a group that small and an entire weekend to enjoy them, we are guaranteed to have long conversations with everyone. When you have people traveling across the country to be with you, it's nice to know that you will actually have time to hug them and share a beer together.
Seven, I never fancied a big wedding. Every time we would go to a family wedding I would remind my mother that it was not what I wanted and she would be lucky if I didn't just JOP it and tell her later. A small wedding is the perfect balance between my long-time JOP intentions and our families' desires to share the moment with us.We won't be overwhelmed or be guilted for the next few decades. WIN!
I'm having a small wedding in 3 days. :) It will be 18 of us all together.
We decided to have a small wedding because we feel that our day should be shared only with those who truly love and support us. We didn't want extended family members there that we only speak with MAYBE once a year. We want our wedding to be intimate and shared only with those who are closest to us.
We had a very small wedding (about 14 guests) because it just felt more "us." The thought of planning a big wedding was very stressful and intimidating to me, not to mention expensive. Also, we live far away from family and most friends and I didn't want to put a ton of time, money, and energy into something big and only have 20 people show up. We just wanted to keep it as simple and intimate as possible. I have no regrets about our choice. I mean, there are some people I wish we could've had there, but we did end up having a bigger reception a month later in a different state. Between that and the wedding, most of the people we wanted to celebrate with us were able to.
@Evie19: Hehe, same here. Between my FI and I we have 150 aunts, uncles, 1st cousins- we aren't inviting any relatives farther than that. That's our ceremony and dinner- the only friends invited are in the wedding party. And our dance will be around 300 once we invite friends. But that's still small compared to the rest of my family, lol.
Mine hasn't come yet but we decided a small wedding was the choice for us. Firstly I'll have no family to invite and he has a big one but not many friends. Finances were also a big element, and the fact that this will be in a friend's living room, so not a lot of space. We'll have 30-45 people.
Those are the matter of fact reasons, but I like being able to spend more one-on-one time with my guests, than a big to-do. Neither of us love huge crowds anyway, and I'm glad it will only be those closest to us.
We had a small ceremony with a larger reception. Our ceremony was only 37 people including my husband, myself, and our pastor! Our reception was 76 people. :) It was perfect for us! My husband isn't much for crowds and both of us wanted to have our ceremony be pretty intimate with just the people who have been the most instrumental in our lives and our relationship. The reception was our time to just relax and party and share the moment with all of our friends and family!
My recaps can be seen here:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-1-getting-ready-the-ladies
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-2-getting-ready-the-guys
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-3-the-ceremony
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-4-bubble-send-off
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-5-formals-friends-and-family
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-6-formals-wedding-party
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-7-formals-just-us
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-8-bridals-and-getaway
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-9-details
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-10
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-11-disposable-camera-pictures
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/recap-part-12-inspiration-vs-reality
We had 65 people at our wedding last October and it was awesome. I couldn't imagine having any more than that, honestly. We only invited close family (parents, g-parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. We both have pretty small families) and our best friends. It was a big enough crowd that it felt like a party, but it was small enough that it still felt small, intimate and personal. Plus, we had time to spend a little time with each guest at our reception.
The main reason we did small is because neither of us is really comfortable being the center of attention in a huge crowd. We wanted something small, with no people we didn't know, so that we would feel comfortable. Plus, we had a fairly small budget and the small guest list helped us be able to spend more per person and really have the kind of wedding we wanted, which we would have never been able to afford if we had invited 200 people.
You can see my recaps here, if you like: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/finally-back-for-a-recap-pro-pics-extremely-pic-heavy
we had 15 guests, so there 17 including ourselves. we had a destination wedding in Jamaica, hence why it was so small. at one point, we had many friends telling us they would come, but when it came to book, may could not follow through. it was a little disappointing because i been hyped up to have 30 - 40 people at my wedding.....But oh my, when i was in Jamaica with my little group, i was happy and relieved we had no more!
Why did we do choose to do a small DW? To start we didn't want nor could afford a large wedding. DH also did not want his entire extended family there. It was also my dream to get married on the beach. So the DW idea worked well for both of us. We did a BBQ reception back home after the wedding and had about 40 people and i found it to be too many people at one time! everytime i turned around there was someone to talk to and it was a bit stressful trying to host the party at the same time. It just made me appreciate my tiny intimate wedding even more!
Because at my wedding in Jamaica, i time to spend with ALL my guests and it was really a fun, intimate event. we did had a formal dinner, did our first dance, did speeches, cake cutting, did a bouquet toss - all the traditions i wanted i had. we danced and partied on the beach for 3 hours after dinner and it was all around pure awesomeness.
here is a pic of my ENTIRE wedding attendees!
did you ladies still have the first dance bouquet toss etc?
@peachbaby4008: We aren't doing any of the typical wedding hoopla. It's not "us" for soooo many reasons. We wanted an elegant dinner party, not a wedding reception. But a friend had a 50 person wedding, and they did dancing and such. It worked just fine, even at 1 in the afternoon. A fun group of people is a fun group of people, no matter how many or how few. If you surround yourself with the people who really love you, your heart will be filled with joy no matter what.
I havent had mine yet but we are having a small wedding in Vegas. About 30 people attending. We are having the ceremony at a small chapel on the strip where my mom and step dad got married 18 years ago and then going to the Hilton for the reception. We are not doing the Bouquet toss or Garter toss as there are not many younger single people coming. We are however doing the garter removal.. I have a surprise garter for my FI its a New England patriots Garter,his fav football team. In the first place I wanted a local big wedding but after I researched it I am so glad we decided DW as the cost would have been 3x's higher and just a hassle for us.
Our wedding is in 3 weeks, we are heading to San Diego and initially it was only going to be 7 people but has moved to about 15. We are planning on having a backyard reception back in Arizona later in time but for now getting married is going to be small. We have big families and at this point I really do not care about anyone else, its about us. I have never been the girl who dreams about my wedding dress, walking down the aisle etc. It is so about the both of us and on the beach with my brother in law officiating the ceremony is exactly our idea of a wedding. I informed my family that they are ALL welcome, told them where we would be doing the ceremony and what time, if they are there awesome, if not that is totally ok I will not be offended.
I find that weddings tend to be all about what other people want, or putting on a perfect picture for others to see or to show off to others. I dont need to invite 150 people that i dont talk to on a regular basis just because that is the typical "wedding".
Good luck with the small venue!
Heather
DH and I had a small 50-person wedding, including us and the bridal party. We didn't want to share such a personal event with a bunch of people we didn't know that well, so it was just close family and friends.
We did the ceremony, a 45 minute cocktail hour, dinner, and dancing. We kept the cake cutting, skipped the bouquet/garter toss, had toasts from my father, the maid of honour and the best man, and had our first dance.
I was worried that the small number of people would make for a pretty lame party after dinner, but the second DH and I finished our first dance, everyone was on the floor getting their groove on. Guess I underestimated our relatives!
I am not married, yet, but we are having a 50 person wedding. I have severe anxiety about going up in front of a lot of people, and even a 50 person wedding has me extremely nervous. But, that's still a lot better than 250! It is also cheaper... a lot cheaper. The money is probably the biggest factor in our decision to go small.
I think smaller weddings are more in tune to what a wedding should really be about: Celebrating a marriage. The intimacy of it all makes it so special. With hundreds of guests, you might get a bunch of gifts, but you will not be able to relax and enjoy your day.
We had seven guests at our wedding.
Here is the "why": http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/17/taking-our-wedding-into-our-own-hands/
Here are a lot more details.
http://www.weddingbee.com/2011/08/14/snapshot-sundays-mr-and-mrs-mary-jane/
I have absolutely, 100%, positively no regrets about going this route. The whole thing was amazing without being stressful, expensive or overbearing.
Ours was 70. I felt like if we invited more than our close family and best friends, we would need to invite 200 or more to avoid offending people. It helped to have a DW. People were more understanding of the small guest list.
I wanted the wedding to be intimate. Honestly, I might have been happy with 50, but politeness required inviting more. We were able to offer more to our guests, both financially and by spending time with them, since there were fewer of them.
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Hello, Bees. I'm looking for brides that have already had small weddings. I'd like to share your stories on why you decided to have a small wedding. If you're interested, please send me a message :-)
(If this is posted in the wrong place, please forgive me.)