Post # 1
So, last night my FI and I decided we want to have a first look. Nothing major. I just know that I couldn’t handle not seeing him until I walk down the aisle. I have major anxiety and I’m liable to just pass the fuck out right there in front of everybody. Seeing him for just a few minutes beforehand would calm me down so much.
I feel like our friends/family won’t understand this though. Obviously it doesn’t really matter what they think, but I really wish that they would all support whatever we want to do and not try to change our minds for the sake of tradition. I’m pretty sure all the older family members will not get it. Even my MOH, who is in her early twenties, did things very traditionally when she got married, so I don’t think she’d understand, either.
So, how did people react to you doing a first look? Did they try to change your mind?
ETA: I didn’t mean that I would specifically seek out people’s advice on whether or not to do it. I meant more like, if it comes up or if someone finds out, what are they likely to say? Ya know? Plus, I will be surrounded by my mom, his mom, my MOH before the ceremony that day just because we’ll all be getting ready, and I’ll have to shoo them away to do the first look, so I can’t exactly hide it.
Post # 3
I didn’t ask anyone’s opinion and no one tried to change my mind. It was so nice for us to have a couple of moments alone before we saw all of our guests and spent the rest of the day entertaining. Most importantly, we didn’t have to take time away from visiting with our guests taking a lot of pictures during the reception.
Post # 4
Culturally speaking, this may not be relevant, as it may be strong tides in the south toward not seeing eachother prior to the ceremony. Up here in the Yankee north where I live, it’s more common for people to do a first look and have photos done prior to the ceremony. It’s a nice quiet moment for the two of you to share (hopefully your photographers are discrete). I didn’t have anyone trying to talk me out of it, as they’d all done this themselves for their weddings.
Post # 5
Our families are just happy we don’t have that terrible gap so theyre very supportive. It’s also becoming very common in area/circle. No one’s said anything bad because they really don’t have any reason to care.
Post # 6
Whaaaat? I didn’t ask people for their input about what we were doing. We had a first look and that was really special for us. Our wedding was so small that as soon as we met up with everyone else for some more photos before the ceremony we were surrounded by people until we left for the night.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I don’t remember anyone really commenting on it. I think my mom was just like “oh that’s nice honey, smart to get some photos done early”.
Post # 8
@drlolaz: Thats so funny- my SIL is from the south and her and my brother did a first look- she is pretty conservative ( they didnt live together until they were actually married, and he is a yankee lol, they live in Chicago, but the wedding was in her southern hometowm) but I don’t think that most of the guests even knew or cared that they did that.
My sister and her hubby didnt do a first look- and to be honest after experiencing both weddings I am pro-first look- i think seeing each other before hand and taking picutres takes the edge off 😉 I will be doing a first look with my FI, but we are having a Friday evening wedding ( we also have been living together for almost 3 years so who are we trying to kid by being super traditional on the day of, lol) so we need to save time by taking pictures earlier.
Post # 9
Most guests didn’t know we did it and those that did were glad that we were going straight to the reception so they didn’t have to wait for us. Our families didn’t really care.
The first look was one of the best parts of our day.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
@CarolinaCola: Have anyone who gives you a hard time read this article..
Post # 11
I didn’t ask anyone or care what they thought, and most people didn’t even know unless they were there. It worked much better logistically because we would have been so time crunched if we didn’t take any pictures together until after the ceremony. We loved it and would do it again in a heartbeat. Neither of us cried in the first look, but we both still cried the second I started walking down the aisle.
Post # 12
No one said anything about it. Really, I can’t remember a word. It’s not like I discussed it in depth with anyone though.
Although we also spent the night together and had the morning together before I left to get my hair done. A couple people commented on that. I guess a first look maybe isn’t as big of a deal? And I think everyone liked having the photos done early.
Post # 13
Almost everyone I know that has gotten married in the last few years has done a first look. Our parents thought it was a neat idea and nobody else outside of the wedding party even knew. If they did find out and didn’t like it, it wouldn’t have bothered me one bit.
Post # 14
@CarolinaCola: I did a first look and I would highly recommend it!
Don’t tell anyone before hand and then the morning of the wedding (or the night before for scheduling purposes?) tell your girls that you will be going to your first look. There’s almost no way that people would question/bother you about it on your wedding day 🙂 If everything else fails, just tell the girls that it was a decision that you and your FI came to together and that you are relieved to have some time alone before the ceremony.
Honestly – it’s like the only time you’ll have alone together all day! Hope you enjoy it and it goes over well! 🙂
Post # 15
@LDay1983: I really loved reading that!
Post # 16
We’re doing it and looking forward to it! Our immediate family knows but I’m not mentioning it anyone else. I don’t really care what anyone might think either 😉 Our ceremony is at 5 and runs straight into cocktail hour & reception so it made sense to do the majority of our photos first (other than a few that we’ll do on the beach/pier at sunset). Besides, we’re both emotional people so I think it’s going to be best for us to have that moment first. I don’t think it’s going to change his emotion when I’m walking down the aisle!