Post # 1
Curious if anyone else has this issue. Often, I will feel attractive at a real time event but then when I see the pictures later, I feel like I look hideous and am overcome with self loathing. It is for sure an overreaction and not rational, but I almost always have this experience. I’m wondering how this is going to play out with my wedding. I had the experience trying on dresses- when I tried on a dress I loved, I felt gorgeous in it, but then when I saw pictures the next day that my friend sent me, I felt beastly. I almost don’t even want photos of me on the wedding day so that my memories aren’t tainted! Has anyone else dealt with this ? Did you end up feeling different about the wedding day photographs or did you just try to get over it as best you could?
Post # 3
@laurelina: I was very concerned about this too – I know what you mean about feeling like you look great but then thinking the pictures are horrid. But try to stop worrying – your photographer is a professional, there is a reason you are paying them so much money! They know what angles look good (and yeah, angles when you’re on a pedestal in the bridal salon with the camera below you are super unflattering) and will edit pictures too. I would definitely recommend getting engagement photos taken – once I saw how good my photographer made us look in those I never worried again about the wedding pictures.
Post # 4
What has made me more comfortable is that I’ve been VERY open and up-front with my photographer about my issues. Also? I’m not afraid to be like “Can you stand up higher than us?” So that the angle gets rid of the dreaded almost-double-chin-thing. I will literally request this if I have to, just to insure there are pictures where I feel pretty. Lol.
Also, I’m wearing my veil for the entire day. To me it soooort of helps hide my arms that I don’t like. No it’s not the best cover up (I don’t like boleros and the like), but I’m going to do all I can to FEEL like I look gorgeous. If I FEEL fat, then I won’t photograph as well because I’ll feel gross and yucky.
Post # 5
@AmeliaBedelia: Second all that advice!
Finding a good photographer who you are comfortable with is huge. If you can be open and honest and not afraid to say, “take pictures from this specific angle or in this lighting and watch my hips please” it will help.
Plus, on your wedding day, you’re so happy that it really does shine through in pictures and you will really truly look and feel beautiful because you’re just so damn happy!
Post # 6
@Wonderstruck: I was planning on foregoing the engagement pictures but that is a good point I hadn’t thought of… I don’t care much about having the photos themselves but it would be nice to be reassured about the photographer’s skill!
@AmeliaBedelia: I love this! I definitely have a “good side” so I will have to remember to hammer that home with my photographer.
Post # 7
I am kinda like you. I hope it all turns out okay. I was especially dissapointed at my sister’s quince…I actually felt like I looked great, though I never know what to do with my face it seems like. I’m always afraid Im putting on a fake smile or something….anyways, we get the photos back and it’s not my face, I did look great, no one told me how unflattering my dress was around my midsection. i told my mom not to ever show those pics to anyone. I mean…It looked aweful.
I faired well for my engagement pics though….I still hated the faces I made, I felt like I coulda looked better if I woulda felt better but at the time I was just not knowing if I looked okay…just blah you know. They turned out pretty good but when I look at them I still feel like I can find a zillion things wrong.
dunno if there’s anything I can do to avoid this at my wedding….all I can do is pray I don’t hate my pictures to death.
Post # 8
I’m kinda the same way. I really don’t like having my picture taken because I’m really self conscious about the way my right eye looks in pictures. Long story short I had a a tumor in my eye when I was a baby which left me blind in that eye, and I have white scar tissue covering nearly my entire pupil. So on top of the hideous scar, my eye is always looking off to the right and makes it look goofy. It drives me nuts and my fiancé insists it’s not even noticeable, but I’ve had strangers on the street ask me what’s wrong with my eye, so I know he’s just being nice.
For me I think the only thing I can really do is ask our photographer to take the majority of our pictures (other than the ones I would obviously be facing the camera for) of my left side. It’s something I’m really paranoid about though because like you, I always think certain pictures are gonna come out great and then see them later and all I can see is how awful my eye looks.
Post # 9
I’m the same way, I never like a photo of myself, however if enough time goes by 6 months, maybe even a year and i look back at photos of myself I realise they are not so bad. I might do this with my own wedding, get the pictures but don’t look at them for several months at least, lol!
Post # 10
I’m the same way:( I’m so afraid of having my picture taken.in person I don’t think I’m bad looking but then in pictures I’m like whoa total different person.I have a really round face and in pictures it looks awful,I tend to tense up n get frumpy when I see a camera in my face.any advise on how to loose the tense constipated look in pictures? Lol Fiance like to joke around n tells me if I need to use the restroom when I take pictures.LOL
Post # 11
I’m the least photogenic person I know. I’m okay with seeing myself in the mirror, but photos… it’s like what the hell happened?? Very similar to the reaction I have when I hear my own voice recorded. (Yikes… I sound like that??) Even my childhood pictures… I always look so… awkward. I was looking through old pictures for a compilation, and there’s a picture of me at about 3 or 4 years old… and I have my back all arched, my knees all over the place, my pants somewhere above my waist, and my shoulders up by my ears. 😛 It was as bad as it sounds… and I was posing for the camera!
I too hope I come out decent in at least a few shots. 🙂 I have to remember to keep my back straight and smile…. and maybe avoid showing my profile to the photographer.
Post # 12
I was totally in the same boat as you before my wedding. I will feel great and confident at an event, and then see the photos and wonder why no one told me I looked so bad.
The good news, (in addition to your photographer being a professional with angles, editing, etc), is that you will be so excited, nervous, and emotional on your wedding day that after a while you won’t notice the photographer. Sure, you’ll have your posed portraits, but for me, at least, I was so deliriously happy (we took photos after the wedding) that I was having a great time posing and goofing off with my brand new husband, and the smile on your face will be genuine and gorgeous. Our photographer and my wedding planner also provided verbal tips to help pose the photos in the most flattering way. And something else I kept in mind is that the photog will take hundreds if not thousands of pictures, and there will absolutely be a handful out of that pile that you love. 🙂
Get a makeup trial if you can, and have someone take photos of you made up with and without flash. I didn’t get a trial, and freaked out with all the heavy makeup the stylist used on me on my wedding day. My mom had to prevent me from wiping it off and took a few digital pictures to show me that I looked great on film.
Post # 13
I have this thing against posed photos, I get awkward and uncomfortable and usually hate how the photo comes out. The photographer I hired does more of a journalistic type of photography, so that works well with my issues with the camera.
Post # 14
I could have frigging written this post. I know exactly what you mean. I hate myself in photos. So much so that we almost didn’t bother with a photographer….I detest my nose and for some reason it looks twice as big in photos. I look in the mirror and think ok my hair is nice my make up is nice, I look fine, then the photos tell a very different story. I always look at me in photos and think shit, do I actually look this bad? Only thing I can think is that i’m going to tell my photographer this and ask him to generously edit the finished products.