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yeah, my dad is married and my mom isn't anymore. I was thinking the same thing a few days ago. I don't want my mom to be sad due to my wedding.
Both DH and I have the same situation with the dads remarried but the moms not. FIL has been remarried 20 years. It was a little awkward but not that big of a deal. I actually think MIL lost it a bit...she was wearing her wedding band the day of our wedding 
Not sure what she was going for.
@prncssdva - yeah it sucks...I think planning the wedding brings back old memories of planning her own wedding to my dad. Like the other week she got out their photo album and showed me the pictures and showed me her invitations and she even has her wedding to-do list saved! She got out her dress and veil and we looked at it and then she said she didnt even know why she was saving all of these things. It made me sad!
@pendola - thats so interesting she wore her wedding band on your wedding day! The reason I say that is because my mom wore her engagement ring to our engagement party!! She hasnt worn it since WAY before they got divorced too!
@clarebee- I don't know why she wore it and it was on her ring finger. I know she wasn't happy with the wedding and no one thinks she is over the divorce (she's still very bitter about it). Maybe MIL was trying to show off for FIL but she had a whole show going on. I thought it was very weird to say the least.
Honestly, you can't babysit her the entire day. Will she not have other family to hang out with?
Awww, Bees.. This is hard. I'm in the same situation... And my mom is my best friend (and MOH!), so that makes it even worse. I feel terrible for her. My dad is happily married. Like you said, it's not that I don't want my step-mom there, it's that I want it to be special for my mom.
Although, she does have a date this weekend I am super excited about! Everyone cross your fingers that it works out for her, she turned 45 last week and she deserves happiness more than anyone I know.
I'm in the same boat. My dad is married but my mom isn't. She's found herself a date though. My momma is one jazzy lady AND waaaaaay hotter than my stepmom. I think my dad kicks himself everytime he sees my mom.
Glad to know there are other bees out there that feel this way! My mom looks like the older version of me but with gray short hair...I always tell her to dye it but she says if a man loves her he will love her regardless! But she is 53 and hasnt been on that many dates. Good luck to your moms on their dates bees!!!
My dad passed when I was 3 and my mom is single, well she is a cougar and dating a younger man but there is no way I could invite him because my older brother will beat his a** not caring if it will make my mom upset or ruin my wedding so I voided the thought of inviting her boyfriend. On the other hand, my FI's parents are divorced and cannot stand each other, his mom is single and coming alone and his dad is invited with his girlfriend he's been seeing for a year, it will be quite uncomfortable for his parents because they havent seen each other in forever but fiance still wants to introduce them together at the reception
My parents divorced only a couple years ago. My mom has a boyfriend and my dad is remaining single ("3 strikes and you're out," he says). I'm worried about awkwardness for that and also because my half-siblings (from my mom's first marriage) and my dad absolutely LOATHE each other. They rarely see each other, and yeah, they did all behave ok for college graduation, but you really can't help but worry about it, can you? :P
Ah well.
@tammyt12- well even though it might be awkward, dont let it spoil your day!!
@spinningjenny- hopefully theyll behave because its your day but if not I think it gives you permission to go all bridezilla on their asses!
Good luck Tammyt12! DH's parents are the same way: hate each other and hadn't seen each other in almost 6 years. There was major drama surrounding the announcing so we dropped everyone but us. Ditto clarebee...don't let them spoil your day!!
This is something im real worried about also..My parents got divorced 2 years ago and my mom has a serious boyfriend...My dad has no one and is still in love with my mom and real upset about the divorce...I have no clue what to do! I dont want it being akward for my dad...
@future le - have your parents been together at other events (birthdays, graduation, schools plays, etc) since their divorce? I was way more worried about the awkwardness between my parents and then they all came to my college graduation and it wasnt so bad.
I'm in a similar boat - I love my step mom but I feel like in some ways my mom is getting slighted by having to share some experiences. My parents have been divorced since I was 9 (separated since I was 7) so I'm used to it, but somehow wedding planning has made me feel more like a "divorced kid" than ever before!
@Eriqua: I know what you mean. It just really reminds you, somehow, and it can feel so weird and lonely. Mr Spin's parents just celebrated 30 years together, so it's silly and embarassing, but I feel like my side of the family are failures at marriage, especially when I compare them to Mr Spin's immediate family. :(
@Future Le; I don't know if this would work for you, but my sister (MOH) is going to be sort of in charge of looking after our parents, making sure they stay calm and keep their cool, and has already had a talk with both of them, separately, to say "Oh, SpinningJenny is so excited about the wedding and I know she's really happy to have you be such a big part of the day. I think she's a little nervous about you getting along with mom/dad, though, but I've told her that of course there's nothing to worry about, etc, etc." As a sort of subtle reminder that the wedding day isn't about them and their past drama, it's about a new beginning.
Wow, so many other future brides in the same boat...
Neither of my parents are remarried but it's pretty much the same situation. They just got divorced last May. My Dad has a very serious girlfriend (that he started seeing before they were divorced) and my mom is VERY bitter about it. That is going to be my stress factor for the wedding, showers, everything.
Sometimes I get upset with her, because she's always so vocal about it and slamming my Dad constantly. Which I completely understand from a relationship pov because she is hurt, but she does it in front of my little brothers (I have 5) and let's face it: he's our Dad and we still love him.
I definitely feel sad though, because I know certain aspects of my wedding bring back memories of her and Dad. And I feel bad about having to place her and Dad's gf within a hundred mile radius of each other when the wedding gets here, because I know it hurts her to see them together.
On a more selfish note, it really makes me sad because I wish they were still together, and I wish on my wedding day that both my parents whom I love could be happy like I am.
My mom is going through her second divorce right now. It's weird planning a wedding and supporting my mom through a tough time. My parents got divorced when I was 5. My dad is happily remarried and now my mom is finishing the process of her divorce with my step dad. My step dad is an alcoholic and after the intervention, refused to go to rehab. He said he "already quit." Yeah right.
Well anyways, I fully understand wanting to accomodate moms and whatever they're going through or whatever awkwardness there is. Let's all try and make it the best experience for our moms, as easy as it possible could be. Good luck all!
Oh and remember bees, there's nothing you really CAN do. People will always have feelings. We can only support them and love them through it all.
Im sure for the sake of you .. Your mom will have a good time regardless. it will all work out well.
I am going through the same thing. In fact, this issue is so difficult in my family that I thought I wouldn't have a wedding, or that I couldn't invite my Dad. My wedding will be the first time my Mom meets my Dad's new wife. It was a really bad marriage, my Dad treated my Mom really badly, and my Mom got financially screwed by the marriage/divorce. My Dad now lives in a big fancy house with new wife, while my Mom struggles. *SIGH*
It's been so painful for me, and I feel so guilty -- like I am subjecting my Mom to something I shouldn't ask her to, and like I am spoiling the wedding for her or something. She never had a nice wedding (nobody in my family has) so this is a really big deal that I want to be so joyful for her... but I know she'll be so stressed about this issues. And I can't blame her!!
It's one thing to say she should just put those feelings aside, but I feel like that is really impossible. She is a really sensitive person, and we're talking about the most painful experiences of her life that basically left her in poverty.
It's so sad, it's really a weight on the day. I'm sorry you're going through something similar. I hope you find a way to cope that can make it work out for you
This is rough, thankfully though my parents are divorced neither is seeing anyone (currently). I did feel awkward before when I thought I would have to invite my mom's 10 years younger than her boyfriend (go mom) but my dad would've been coming alone. Now that my mom is no longer seeing her boyfriend I feel like it may be easier.
But who knows- maybe it will be worse that neither has a date! Who knows?
I'm in the same boat! My mom is remarried, but my dad is not. I feel bad for my dad, but I'm also concerned about how both of my parents will behave. They couldn't play nice for my graduation a few years ago, so I as much as I want to, I don't quite trust them to be on their best behavior for my wedding. I'm going to have to ask my grandfather to baby-sit them, just in case.
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Well, my parents have been divorced for 8 years now so thats not the issue. It's the fact that my dad has remarried and my mom is still 100% single. I always feel bad about it and now with the wedding I feel even worse. I am giving my mom a +1 of course, but I just don't think she is going to bring anyone. Anyone else have 1 remarried parent and 1 single parent and feel bad for them?? It also kind of sucks because I have to invite my dad's wife to all events (bridal shower, bridal luncheon) and I would much rather just have it be my mom! It's not that I dislike her it's just that I know my mom feels awkward and I wish I could save her from that! Anyone else with similar experiences?