- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
Sooo this weekend was our engagement party, which was fabulous and of course, I made far too many desserts 😉 We are having a small-ish wedding of 70 people and I selected the following ladies as my bridesmaids:
1. My only sister to be Matron of Honor. We’re 14mos apart and have gone through cycles of fighting like cats and dogs but truly are best friends. I was Maid of Honor at her wedding two years ago and we talk nearly every other day. Perfect choice, for sooo many reasons.
2. My future sister-in-law who is the only girl in FI’s family. Somehow even with three weddings in her family, she’s never been a bridesmaid. She lives in the same town as us and often will hitch a ride to future-in-laws’ house with us. I love FSIL already and it was a no-brainer.
3. My closest female friend from college. Who I have more of a sisterly relationship with–it’s very love-hate and she’s pretty high-drama. We were roomies for a year which nearly killed our friendship, friends for 8yrs, in the same sorority, in the same non-sorority social circle, and have been each others’ main confidantes.
I made cute little “ask” baskets for the girls with the Bridesmaids DVD, a handwritten card, a split of champagne and a ring pop. All said yes right away, but about 15mins after my friend #3 said yes, she started giving me a list of stipulations. How she’ll give her honest opinion on everything without solicitation (then proceeded to diss some of my venue ideas), how she’ll accept my choice of color but the bridesmaids get to choose the cut of the dress, that I shouldn’t expect her to make ME a bridesmaid in HER wedding, and that I “only get one day” so I shouldn’t expect her to plan any of “those parties” for me. Whoa! Ok, I can’t say it wasn’t out of character for her to be like this, but I for some reason thought it might be different since it is my WEDDING and not some random party I’m throwing.
My sister told me I should put my foot down and tell her what bridesmaids traditionally do and give her the choice of staying in the wedding or being just a guest. I don’t tend to do well confronting people (I start crying right away), so I thought I’d just ride it out and everything would be fine.
Fast-forward to our engagement party where she gets annoyed that I made desserts when I know she is on a diet. Then I get told that she’s short on time for a weekend in OCTOBER that my sister and mom are coming to look at dresses and can’t we just shop for bridesmaid dresses instead of my wedding gown? She doesn’t trust my sister to pick something out for everyone, which is interesting since my sister has far better taste in fashion than any of us and looks/dresses like Kate Middleton on any given day. I was in the process of letting it go when she starts regaling my party guests with stories about her stipulations like it’s a joke. And then insinuated that I’d be a bridezilla if she and my FI don’t keep me in check. Oh and she told me that she didn’t have time to get me a gift for the party because she forgot the party was that weekend.
I was so embarassed and my FI felt so awkward when people were asking him if I was a bridezilla. Which, for the record, I am not. I’ve booked everything, sent out Save the Dates, organized and baked 20 desserts for the engagement party and done EVERYTHING myself so far without any help or complaints or annoying Facebook posts. I started crying after everyone left and FI asked if I couldn’t “de-bridesmaid” her since he thinks she is going to put a damper on the celebrations. I don’t even know if this is something you can do, but my entire family has asked me to drop her from the wedding party. I don’t even know how you BEGIN a conversation like that :-/