Post # 1
My honey and I are hoping, HOPING to get engaged at the end of the year to be married next summer. I am so sick of waiting now, I’m tired of doing the long distance thing and I am ready to be with him all day, every day, all the time, until the end of time!
One of my besties got engaged a few weeks ago and last night she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids – I’m soooo excited for her and her hubby to be. But I’m soooo JEALOUS! They’re getting married next summer and she was telling me they’re going to keep their wedding really casual and ask people to bring things and contribute and get everyone involved – WHICH IS JUST WHAT I WANT TO DO!
I know I’m not engaged yet so I shouldn’t really be upset, and it sounds totally selfish but I just feel so disappointed. If I do end up getting married next year it would be at the end of the summer and I don’t want all of my ideas to turn up at her wedding, and if they ask people to help out I’m worried people would be less willing to help out at mine…
Sounds totally selfish!
Post # 3
What exactly is meant by “helping out”? Why would they be less willing to help out at yours if they help out at hers? It’s not like you’ll have identical guest lists overall, just a few of the same friends.
Post # 4
If you don’t want all your iseas at her wedding, dont tell her everything that you want at yours.. Your time will come, best of luck
Post # 5
@jumpthegun: Due to lack of finances I think they’re gonna ask people to join in with food and decorations and things like that. You’re right about the guest lists, I guess I’m thinking that people might resent being asked to contribute a bit of their time to both our weddings…
@ffemt: This is true! Thanks 🙂
Post # 6
I know how you feel. I have so many cute ideas and to see other people (not friends) get to use them bothers me. Oh,well. Just gotta change them or do them BETTER. 🙂
I hope you start to feel better.
Post # 7
I say let her have some ideas- if you are anything like me once you see something done, you start to think about how to improve it. You almost get it out of your mind and into the world and can assess it which usually leads to better different ideas. It’s like you have to get it made to let your mind go to the next greater idea. How many bees started a DIY project and then thought of a better plan? That could be her wedding in a way and at the same time you are being a great friend. I have bins and bins of paper flowers I didn’t use for my sisters wedding because I keep improving the idea. I even made a new ‘hollow’ flower ball after the wedding because I thought of it too late to make for the wedding. This is an oppurtunity.
Post # 8
I agree with keesl…I just went to a friends wedding and helped out the nights leading up to it…and I kinda learned what works and what doesnt. Think of it like a learning experience because even though it may seem like a good idea in your head, some of the stuff you may think sounds cool may just turn out to be a pain in the butt. I understand the jealousy part a bit too. I was very happy for my friend, but there was also a twinge of ouch knowing this is what I want but dont have (yet!)
Just keep you head up, talk about her/him as much as possible (dont try to relate everything to you and your SO, it makes it confusing for yourself), and keep yourself busy with the arts and crafts/planning. Sounds like you will be busy! Maybe it is an oppertunity to show your SO how good you are at planning these kind of things 😉
Post # 9
I think you should cross that bridge when you get there. You aren’t to sure when your wedding will be. Like PP’s stated, your guest lists will be pretty different so I don’t see why they wouldn’t help. I don’t think you should be worried that it’s too the same by asking folks to chip in…. aren’t other weddings alike when they don’t ask for others help, have the dinner, cake, etc.?