Post # 1
I’m not currently engaged, but I’m a bridesmaid for a close friend who lives across the country. I am a graduate student, living on a stipend, and will also be paying for my personal relocation costs in June. At the moment, there are three weekends in June/July where I will need to purchase a plane ticket — for the bachelorette party weekend in Vegas, the cultural wedding ceremony, and the American wedding ceremony. These are all taking place over the course of 2 months. I will be flying back and forth for 3 out of 5 weekends and obviously, due to work and school obligations, won’t be able to stay throughout the weekdays.
My question: Is it bad etiquette if I let the bride know that I can’t cover the cost of flying out for the bachelorette party? How can I approach this conversation? The flights alone will likely add up to over $1500, plus any other costs incurred during those weekends, especially the bachelorette, will likely be high.
Post # 3
That’s totally understandable. just be honest. She shouldn’t expect you to fly out 3 times! If she’s a good friend I donno why she wouldn’t be understanding.
Post # 3
I don’t think there is anything wrong with telling the bride you can’t make it to Vegas. Since you’re a bridesmaid, I’m assuming you two are close. Just be honest with her and tell her you can’t afford to fly out to Vegas. I’m sure she’ll understand!
Post # 4
It’s funny that finances are still such a difficult topic for most adults. It is no reflection on you that you can’t afford 3 flights in a couple of months. Most people couldn’t. Very few people in your situation could afford even one flight.
Phone her so you are talking in person- not texting or emailing. Tell her that you have just done your budget for the year and cannot afford these three flights. She may or may not be able to help out. If she doesn’t, just tell her that you know she will have a great time and that you look forward to seeing her at the wedding.
Post # 5
Just let her know!
I am also a graduate student and a bridesmaid in a wedding in the fall.
I just had the financial situation talk with my bride last week as I just wanted her to know that I would do what I could but that money is tight and I don’t want to disappoint her. She thanked me for bringing it up as she wanted to let me know all she cares about is me standing up beside her on her day. It made me feel a lot better!
Post # 6
Thanks for the input, all! I guess just letting her know that I can’t afford it is the simplest and most straightforward way of getting around this issue. I’ve never been a bridesmaid before and wasn’t sure if this is a situation where I would be “expected” to attend the OOT bachelorette party as well.