- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
My Fiance’s cousin and his girlfriend were our closest friends and companions for five years, and then within the last 2 years they broke up, got back together, had a baby, and then he ended the relationship just before last Christmas, kicked her out of the house they shared (he owned it technically) and sued her for 1/2 custody, seemingly out of nowhere. Then about 2 months ago he called her to let her know he was moving in his girlfriend, who by the way is not new, he met her just before they broke up, thankyouverymuch.
This BM is one of my best friends, we’ve been through thick and thin for five years and I love her dearly. This situation with the girlfriend is awful, but she took it in stride, met the girl and dealt w/ her emotions like a responsible parent…but very recently, the girlfriend has been assuming a lot of the childcare of the one yr old baby during the dad’s visitation. It’s become like she’s the mother…I’ve seen this with my own eyes, she’s been living there for 8 weeks and she seriously acts like the baby’s mom when I’m around. She came up to me and picked her up out of my hands with a big smile and walked off cooing her and giving her kisses. I was kind of dumbfounded. But I will say the girl is actually very sweet and I give her partial credit for taking on someone else’s child part-time and with such gusto, and I believe she is just doing what comes naturally, and he encourages it very much. From what I know of her, she’s a solid individual and a good candidate for a stepmom, but it’s only been less than two months that me and my friend knew she existed and maybe 7 months since the split-up.
I’m writing bc my friend is getting to the point where this is making her bitter and angry…she hasn’t moved on yet bc she’s not emotionally there yet (imagine that, not jumping right into a relationship after a breakup), so she was doing good before but is getting to be not in a good place when it comes to the new girlfriend…just a hair above civility for now. She tried so hard, but the relationship is so in your face that it’s gotten difficult to gloss over it or ignore it. It’s not him that she’s upset over, she knew that things were never gonna work, it’s that some other woman is caring for her baby and living in her former house…putting the baby to sleep in the nursery that she painted, in the crib she put together, reading the books she got at her baby shower, and her kid only just turned 1…ughh.
Since he’s my Fi’s cousin and best man, I planned on inviting the girl, even tho I just met her last month. If it weren’t for this I would’nt think twice, but I really don’t think she should be there in light of the current situation. My Fi thinks his cousin is a moron for doing what he did, but they’re family and he would never cut him off for something that essentially has nothing to do with us. His emotional opinion sides with my friend on all of this and he spends time with her and the baby and me when we get together if he can to show her his support. He definitely thinks that it would be impossible and super insulting not to invite the girlfriend tho, even though he would rather not…but it just seems like it would cause a lot of issues down the road if she were excluded.
On the other hand, I don’t want my best pal standing there next to me and possibly looking out into the crowd seeing this other girl holding her kid during our ceremony and reception, and playing happy face while she’s melting inside…this is kind of her day too after throwing my shower and helping me plan and counseling me whenever me and the Fi have had problems over the years…I need to know what the right thing is to do.