Post # 1
I am asking for a very honest opinion here.
My bridesmaid broke up with her boyfriend last weekend. They had a long on again off again relationship, but I guess it is finally over. So she emailed me about it and I responded with regret and love, hoping for the best for her and her situation. A very busy week passes and I get another email from her, this time angry, or rather “disappointed” that I hadn’t texted or called her all week to see how she’s doing. I feel awful, but had it been me I would want to be left alone. Of course I was thinking of her.
Now there is this awful tension that I had no idea existed. Am I that bad of a friend or is she looking for a pity party?
I guess if I feel this badly about it, then I have my answer…
Post # 3
You’re not a bad friend — I suspect she’s just in a bad, hurting place right now and lashing out. Turn the other cheek if at all possible — be honest and say that you tend to process things alone, but that you should have thought that she might want to talk about it. Go from there. Beyond *that*…then she’s just starting drama!
Post # 4
She’s probably just feeling overly emotional and sensitive about everything right now and misdirected her emotion on to you. I bet she truly doesn’t feel that way, but maybe just talk to her and tell her you’re so sorry and you love her, but you just wanted to give her space and not bother her. You figured she didn’t want to talk about it all week. Just reassure her that you’re there for her. It sucks that she is taking out her sadness on you, but she’s clearly dealing with something upsetting 🙁
Post # 5
That is very reassuring, thanks ladies. I know it’s going to take strength to not defend myself, but to show her kindness instead.
Post # 6
I totally wouldn’t say you were a bad friend but if she’s close enough to be a bridesmaid then you should probably know her well enough to know whether you should have called her or not. Just because you wouldn’t want to talk about it doesn’t mean she wouldn’t.
Just tell her you were trying to give her some space and that you are very sorry. Let her know you’ll try to check in with her more often and reasure her that you haven’t forgotten about her. You don’t want her to feel like she’s not important anymore so make the effort to call and ask how things happened and invite her out to spend some time with just you.
Post # 7
i dont think you intentionally was a bad friend but it takes almost no time to text someone a hi, thinking of you
if this was me i would simply apologize and hopefully move on – we all have moments we wish we did things differently, sometimes life gets in the way