Post # 1
I had my sister as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and she pulled out (around 7 months ago) so I asked another good friend to fill in and offered to pay for everything since she was filling in (down to mani pedi!!) but god she is doing my head in!!!
Our original plans were to get ready at my parents place but that fell through and I had to pay for a hotel, I paid for a place and as it had to be big enough for all of us plus the makeup artist and hair dressers oh and photographer! It wasn’t cheap… But meant that it had enough room for all of us to stay the night…
all the BM’s knew I had a very hard time through the planning and were more than happy to say they will stay the night before but this one Bridesmaid or Best Man won’t because “she likes to sleep in her bed” which I was like ok fair enough…. But then tonight she check in on FB… At a hotel Saying shes staying the night!!
wtf, I hate people that lie 🙁
Post # 3
@lisha_1988: Oh man. People are hard.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t take this personally, and I don’t think I’d categorize this as lying. Chances are, there’s a perfectly acceptable reason why she chose to stay in a hotel tonight, but not the night before your wedding, and if you’re her friend, you OWE it to her to give her the benefit of the doubt rather than getting upset over something you see on Facebook.
Your invitation for the bridesmaids to stay in the hotel with you is not a subpoena, and any one of the girls can turn down that invitation for any reason. I think it’s rather silly to get jealous or upset that any of your friends says they’d rather sleep at home that night, regardless of how often they stay in other hotels.
Post # 5
@fishbone: +1, try to not let it bother you and just have fun with your girls.
Post # 6
@fishbone: considering this is the third occassion I have had this treatment before wouldn’t I have the reason to be upset?
Post # 7
@lisha_1988: Why are you upset that she is staying the night in a hotel? What she does with herself in her life is her choice, you get no say in that. She wasn’t comfortable staying the night before your wedding at the hotel, that is her decision, you have nothing and I mean absolutely nothing to be upset over.
You also have no idea why she is staying the night at a hotel now, and asking her would be tacky and rude. You don’t grill your friends on their whereabouts or going ons in their life.
Post # 8
Sounds like she just doesn’t want to spend the night without her SO, it’s not a big enough deal I’d bother being offended over it. She’ll still be in the room the next day getting ready, I wouldn’t really care if she didn’t want to spend the night.
But I do think this can be a lesson to other bees about why replacements are a bad idea…if a family member or relative has to pull out, replacing them with someone you’re not as close to is a bad, bad idea. I know that’s not helpful to you because it’s too late now, but cheer up! You’re getting married next week! Who cares where she sleeps, you’re almost at your wedding day!
Post # 9
@lisha_1988: Because people don’t always want to do “everything” with “everyone.” I have one good friend who I love to bits, but I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than share a hotel room with her. She snores, and makes all these creepy weird noises in her sleep, and it’s awkward and uncomfortable for me (some of her creepy weird noises sound like she’s having a sex dream!!!). I would *never* come out and tell her that I don’t want to share a room with her because she’s a noisy sleeper though! So I just try not to go out of town with her unless it’s part of a group, where it’s easier for me to pair up with someone else or have my own room without hurting her feelings.
I have some friends that I enjoy going to Trivia Night with, and some friends where it’s a lot less fun. If I turn down Friend B for trivia night, that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to go to Trivia Night with Friend A, and Friend B shouldn’t get their feelings hurt over it.
It’s perfectly okay to have one set of friends that you do one thing with, and another set of friends that you do other stuff with.
Post # 10
I would probably be annoyed/upset but don’t let it ruin things for you! Just ignore and have fun with your girls.