Bridesmaid Attire

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Candy13:  you are not being a bridezilla. I would want the shoes to match too if my girls were wearing short dresses. But I’m OCD like that. Can you buy them for her as her bridesmaid gift? Lol – especially since all of the other girls were ok with it and your dresses came under budget. 

And for what it’s worth, I do not think that $150 is expensive for a bridesmaids dress. 

Post # 4
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Hahaha, OMG I think I just relived my BM woes. Literally the exact same thing happened to me. I think that some people, when they accept the offer to be a bridesmaid, they actually don’t honestly know what they just got themselves into. I think that any dress, whether its a sun dress, an easter dress, a new years dress, a birthday dress, for whatever occassion, a decent well cut dress runs around 150.00. Thats how much dresses are. So to pick an evening gown for a wedding at the price of 150.00, I think it may be expensive to some girls because they aren’t normally use to buying things at that price range. She also may have a little bit of pent up anger because she knows very well that she’s never going to wear the dress again but thats not something she should take out on you, the ugly truth is, BM’s almost never ever wear their dresses again anyway and she just needs to get past it.

As for the shoes, I don’t have a concrete answer for you. I actually bought my bridesmaid dresses and they were short and really lovely in my opinion and my only stipulation was that they needed to buy their shoes. Well, I’m a shoe lover and have a closet full of shoes, nice shoes. When I look at a shoe, I can tell just by the cut if it’s cheaply made and since these dresses are short, I wanted to be clear that I don’t care how much the shoe cost, I just don’t want them to look cheap. No glitter, etc etc etc. So I actually gave each BM this long list of stipulations like must be at least 3 inches. No platform (because it could possibly look cheap if done wrong), I said must be silver, etc etc and I also said it must be Badgely Mischka. So I actually gave them a brand they must choose from because I knew those shoes are made well and would flatter the foot, because lets face it, some shoes can be 80 dollars and still be cut wrong and not flatter the foot at all and just look terrible you know?

Well even though I had bought the dresses for the BM’s and even though I was gifting them their jewelry, for some reason they all complained about the shoes AND the dress. So you know what I did. I said thats fine. I returned the dresses I bought, I got my money back, and I said I’m going to choose whatever dress I want at whatever price I want and you’re gonna buy it. So I chose a White by Vera Wang one shoulder gown for 180.00 and they all bought it and I said congratulations ladies now you can wear whatever shoe you want as long as its silver because no one will see it.

You shouldn’t be made to feel bad for stipulating that the color of the shoe be silver. My fear with letting the girls choose their own shoe was that the shoe would be tasteless. I know you said the shoes were 40-60.00 which is actually a phenomenal price for shoes so you can’t go any cheaper, it’s not possible. What kind of shoe does she think she’s gonna get for under 60 bucks? They’re gonna kill her feet after 2 hours if they’re poorly made. I don’t think you should have to compromise on this.

I sorta feel bad though because what if she really honestly can’t afford the shoes along with her bills or whatever else she has going on in her life. You know, sometimes it is nice to have everyone in the same dress and just have them in all different shoes; its a little more interesting that way. But I understand if you want them all in the same shoes, its like their dress code. They are your maids after all.

I don’t know, I say, if it were me, just buy the shoe for her and keep it a secret from all of the other bridesmaids. If she can keep the secret, so can you, so the others don’t get jealous. Maybe she’s worried about alterations on the dress or worried about your gift or about your bachelorette party or other things. Things do tend to add up and I’m sure she really wants to be in your bridal party.

Post # 5
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think it’s ridiculous when the shoes match. All that says to me is that the bride was being a bridezilla. Also, my feet are shaped weird and so many different shoes are uncomfortable to me. I’d hate to be miserable at someone’s wedding. 


FI and I recently went out to dinner and I wore new flats that made me miserable by the end. 


I do feel like her excuse is nonsense because she agreed to $200. If you care that much, you can offer to make it her BM gift or something and see what she says. 


ETA: I mean I think it’s ridiculous when all the shoes are the same. I understand requesting a color, though I personally am not.

Post # 6
6455 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Does that $150 include alterations though? With the cost of alterations the dress may come out to be $200.

I don’t think mis matched shoes are a big deal at all. When I got my pictures back I didn’t even notice their (not matching) shoes! The only one that stood out was one of the BMs who changed into flip flops for a bit. I just don’t think people are going to be looking at their feet.


Post # 7
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think that we, as brides, get too focused on the little details. No one will notice that they aren’t wearing the same shoes – it’ll be fine if they are all just silver.


If you want them to all be the same, then you’ll have to offer to pay for them. However, I happen to be the type of bride who is allowing her BMs to buy whatever dress they want as long as they are navy and shoes can be either brown or nude. No length requirement and the dresses can even be a print (actually I’d love it if they were all in a print but not all of my BMs are into that idea).


I wouldn’t stress over this. There are plenty other more important things in the grand scheme.


Post # 8
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have liked my girls to wear matching shoes but their tastes vary and heel height is a concern for some, so I just told them they have to be purple. I think that since you came under budget with the dress she shouldn’t have had a big deal with the purchase of a “nuetral” colored shoes, its not like she cant wear them again/sell them. Now, if it was neon green, I’d ask you to buy em lol

Post # 10
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

The shoes should DEFINITELY match, especially since the dresses are short. I don’t think $40 is unreasonable for shoes at all. Perhaps you can space out the purchasing of the shoes some more? Maybe that will lighten the burden OR maybe that could be your gift to the girls?

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors