Post # 1
I just wanted some brides opinions?
My sister is getting married in 10 weeks and a bridesmaid backed out yesterday via text. She stated she could not afford to be in the wedding. This is someone she has been friends with since grade school. We have already bought all the fabric for the dresses and ordered personalized gifts for all the bridemaids. We are having a fitting this Sunday for the dresses. The dresses will be $85-$100 depending on the cut of the top they choose. I thought this was very reasonable.
My main vent is that she did not pick up the phone and tell her. I don’t think this is appropriate to do over text. I would of even offered to pay for part of the dress had it been done differently. I asked my sister if she wanted me to pay and she said no. She is thinking of asking someone else but we don’t want the girl to feel she is a plan B. Suggestions?
Just needed to vent!
Post # 3
Have your sister talk to the girl to see if it truly is a matter of financial committment. The dress is not that expensive. What else is she required to purchase?
Post # 4
I think your sister should indeed talk to the Bridesmaid or Best Man, they are good friends and should be able to level with each other. If, after the talk, the Bridesmaid or Best Man sticks to her decision, then I wouldnt ask another girl to stand in…having a Bridesmaid or Best Man less than a Groomsmen is not a big problem.
Post # 5
I think asking someone else 10 weeks out will definitely make them feel like a Back-up/Second Choice Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Has your sister tried calling this girl and asking about her reasons for cancelling? It seems like it may not be financial, but rather, some other reason.
Post # 6
Thanks for the advice.
They are wearing cowboy boots but she already owns a pair. No specific jewelry and no trip to the hair salon. Am I missing something?
My sister said she would feel obligated to come to the bachelorette party if she was a bridesmaid which we are splitting by 20 people. I have not even given a price yet. My sister threw another friend a bachelorette party 2 months ago and it was under $85 including limo, food, nightclub VIP and drinks. She said she never paid her portion for the bachelorette party then and has never mentioned it.
Maybe this is for the best… Am I wrong to wish she would of told her sooner and not via text?
Post # 7
I agree with you…If someone is really your friend, they dont tell you things like that via text.
Post # 8
She has tried to call her. She said nothing weird has happened between them. She talked to her a couple times trying to coordinate dress fitting times and she never mentioned anything. She said in her text her car was going to cost money to fix and other financial things. She lives with her parents and has a full time job.
Post # 9
@roxx123: I find it is better not to assume that we know anyone elses financial situation. For example most of my friends wouldn’t know we are struggling at the moment since I have been off work for a long time ill.
If the Bridesmaid or Best Man isn’t able to afford it then that is that. Theorising or making assumptions on her financial/life situation wont help anything. If she feels she cannot afford it then that is all there really is. Would you prefer she go into debt and get into financial dire straits just to be in the wedding?
I agree that the Bridesmaid or Best Man probably should have called but think about it from the BM’s perspective- she is letting a close friend down and is probably really disappointed that she wont be able to take part in her firends day.
Honestly if my close friend couldn’t afford to take part in my wedding I would find a way for them because it would be more important to me to have a friend there than a dress!