Post # 1
So i have 3 bridesmaids. One of which (MOH) is getting married a few months before me, so understandably she is always busy doing her wedding stuff (im a Bridesmaid or Best Man for her also).
My 2nd bm is a friend ive known since high school, but ive found that im way more comfortable talking wedding stuff to her that Maid/Matron of Honor, so ive found that she is helping out alot more than Maid/Matron of Honor.
So im thinking of doing some nice personalised gifts for the girls (like putting Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor on singlets and robes) but i dont want Maid/Matron of Honor getting all the credit for being Maid/Matron of Honor when another Bridesmaid or Best Man has been more involved (more like a MOH).
What do i do, just carry on or ask Maid/Matron of Honor if she would mind if i get the other Bridesmaid or Best Man to be MOH?
Its really put a damper on things, as Maid/Matron of Honor doesnt talk wedding stuff to me and keeps her dress details a secret but expects me to be a fountain of information when it comes to my wedding, i think id feel more happy and comfortable if i swapped the two, but dont want to cause any problems for the future.
Honest opinions needed please!
Post # 3
What about creating CO-MoHs? Then you aren’t demoting your current MoH but also able to give the Bridesmaid or Best Man the credit she deserves.
Post # 4
@LDC: Yeah i think thats a good idea.
Would it then be weird to have 2 Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 lonely BM? Im tempted to just scrap the idea and just hav 3 Bridesmaid or Best Man n no MOH!
Post # 5
I thought the maid of honour was supposed to be the person you feel closest to and who you wanted to stand up with you on your wedding day to witness your marriage and not the person who has the most time for you or does the most stuff for you?
In your post you say she is asking about your wedding- hence being supportive. And that you are upset that she isn’t sharing details with you- maybe she is sharing that with her MOH? Are you upset that you made her Maid/Matron of Honor and she didn’t make you hers?
Post # 6
@j_jaye: I agree, i thought i was close to Maid/Matron of Honor, but since being both engaged its like i dont exist or matter. I feel a bit of competition to be honest, which is silly i know. Thats why i think she wants to know everything to do with mine, but doesnt want to share hers.
Im not offended at all that im not a Maid/Matron of Honor for her, as her twin is her Maid/Matron of Honor, so im totaly cool with that, and her other sister is a Bridesmaid or Best Man too, so im feeling a bit left out as well as being exempt from wedding details if you know what i mean.
Post # 7
@j_jaye: My thoughts exactly. I really don’t understand where the idea that some people have (not necessarily OP) came from that the Maid of Honor is supposed to be the bride’s personal assistant. I chose mine because she is my closest friend and on my wedding day, I can’t imagine anyone else standing next to me. As for my wedding, she hasn’t done anything except contributed to the shower which is being put on collectively by my bridesmaids and mother. I would never even think of “demoting” her for this!
I think it’s silly to have two maids-of-honor and one bridesmaid. Did you express your expectations to your bridesmaids in the beginning?