(Closed) Bridesmaid Blunder…

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That sounds like a very stressful situation… First, try to reach out again – if she’s in need of help she might have to feel like you really care in order to accept it. Second, if that doesn’t work – explain to her that you’re concerned and that she will have to follow some guidelines if this should work out (like NOT showing photos of your dress!). If that fails and you feel like you have to exclude her – do you mean just from the bridal party or the wedding as well? Because just excluding her as a bridesmaid doesn’t feel like the ideal setting for a drama free wedding… And whatever you do, don’t use the phrase “huge mistake”. Come up with a believable excuse for not having her as a bridesmaid. 

Post # 4
Member
12833 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ugh, this is a rough situation.  I think it’s a friendship-ending, rude move to kick someone out of a bridal party.  If you do it, you’re basically running the risk of ruining the friendship.  Whatever “excuse” you make up isn’t going to heal the pain of hearing someone you consider a good friend telling you they no longer want you standing with them on the most important day of their life. 

I would sit down and talk to her about your concerns without bringing up the issue of kicking her out of the bridal party.  Tell her you need to feel that she’s more supportive of your marriage because you need to know your dearest friends are behind you.  If she tells you she can’t step up and support you, then you may have to take a more drastic action.

Post # 5
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I look at these situations in a “you’ve made your bed, and now you have to lie in it” kind of way.

You picked this person who you obviously didn’t know that well, and aren’t that close to.  You picked her, and now you are stuck.

Or you kick her out, and your friendship is 100% over, and expect communal friends to see you in the negative light.  You are kicking her out, when she hasn’t really done anything, except obviously be distressed herself.

Perhaps now is the time for you to be a friend to her.  She is clearly not doing well right now, and could probably really use someone to be there for her. 

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