Bridesmaid bringing a questionable "date"…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

First off… There is always 2 sides to every story… So don’t judge her on her reasonings of leaving her husband unless you know the entire story… He may not be as devoted as you think… 

Secondly.. Why will she be with you all day? If your bridesmaids boyfriend was coming would he be getting ready with you too!? Tell your bridesmaid the girl is welcome to come to the ceremony and reception… But everything leading up is just for you guys… There is no reason why “dates” need to be there while you are getting ready and during pictures… That is something for the bridal party only 

Post # 4
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

@Soon2bmarried123:  I think your BM should be allowed to bring this woman as her +1.  However, that doesn’t mean her +1 gets to be with you when you’re getting ready.  I think that is a very unreasonable request.  Your BM can see her at the reception.

She has a duty as your BM to help you get ready physically and emotionally the morning of your wedding.  NO ONE should be there that you don’t want there.  I think it’s odd that she would expect her +1 to be getting ready with y’all anyway.

Post # 7
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Soon2bmarried123:  tell your bridesmaid that you don’t want her there while you are getting ready… This is your day.. If the bridesmaid doesn’t like it or gets cranky… Oh well…. you want to be surrounded by people you know and love… Not strangers 

Post # 8
18 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d definitely put my foot down on this one. It is YOUR wedding.  Your bridesmaid should understand.  

If your bridesmaid insists on having her there while you are getting ready then you will need to be more assertive and say NO.  Tell your bridesmaid to put herself on your shoes…

Let us know how things turn out 🙂


Post # 9
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Soon2bmarried123:  No. The invitation was to your BM’s bf. It is not a ticket which can be transferred to someone else.

You invited the BM’s bf because they are a social unit. The same is not true for BM and her friend. You don’t need to invite her friend.

EDIT: Though the poster below me makes a good point: who’s name is on the invite? If the invite says, “and guest” then my advice is harder to follow. But I say don’t invite her if the bf’s name is on the invite.

Post # 10
6450 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Was your BM’s BF’s name on the invite? Or was it a general +1?

I would just tell her that this woman can’t get ready with you guys because that you want to get ready with people you are close too. I wouldn’t want her getting ready with me either- I just wanted my BMs and mom there for that.

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