Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids found out she was pregnant a few months ago (she will be 5 months along at our wedding) and so she bought a larger sized dress to make sure she would fit in it. Guess she severly underestimated her size though because she does not fit AT ALL. A seamstress said they couldn’t alter it to fit her, and with 3 days to go she can’t order a new one. I wish she had tried the dress on earlier so we would have time to fix things but she didn’t put it on until two days ago….and we leave for my semi-destination wedding the day after tomorrow.
I told her I was sorry she couldn’t be in the wedding and that she can enjoy the wedding sitting down now (which being 5 months pregnant would probably be better anyways!).
She hasn’t responded to me since though. Is it ok to cancel her hair and makeup appointment since she won’t be in the wedding party? I can’t figure out if I am supposed to still pay for her hair and makeup or not – and I’d love to save a little money if I could (together it would cost me $160!)
Post # 3
I should put on my reading glasses. I change my response. I would be ticked if I got discarded as a BM because of being pregnant and the dress not fitting. Find a dress in a similar color and style. Really isn’t that hard.
Post # 4
So you’re kicking her out because her dress doesn’t fit? Can’t you find a dress in a similar color that she could still wear and still stand with you on our day??
if I was her, I’d be pissed at you. I’d feel like you were kicking me out of the wedding because I was fat (even if that’s not what you really mean)
Post # 5
I’m with Glasgowbound. Is the dress the most important thing about being a bridesmaid? Is it not about standing up for you, and having those closest to you honored with that title?
Post # 6
@cali_cat: do you have a link or picture to the bm dress? I bet someone on the bee could find a similar dress in a store..
Post # 7
@Glasgowbound: No, I personally cannot find her a dress in a similar style/color because I’m working around the clock until I leave for the wedding. I have no ability to get to a mall and nothing online can be ordered in the timeframe we have left.
Post # 8
She must be devastated! Bad enough that the dress doesn’t fit but to be just discarded as a bridesmaid at the same time. It must be possible to get her a new dress in time surely? Can she not get to a mall? No wonder she hasn’t got back to you. I hate to sound harsh but please think of her feelings too.
Post # 9
Yes, she probably should have tried it on sooner but I’m shocked that you’re kicking her out because her dress doesn’t fit. I’m sure you can find something similar for her to wear. If I were her I wouldn’t be answering because I would be upset that you kicked me out of the party.
ETA: Just saw that you don’t have time to look. Have you asked at all if she has time to look?
Post # 10
@cali_cat: Can she go to the mall? Can anyone go to the mall for her? I’d be pissed at you as well. Yes, she should have tried the dress on earlier, but presumably you asked her to be in the wedding because she is close to you and means more to you than matching dresses.
Post # 11
Well, if she’s got the original bridesmaid dress then she can surely take it to the mall and search for something in the same color that will fit her current shape. I just think you shoudl at least give her the opportunity to TRY and find a replacement dress of some type, since it does seem like a pretty big bummer to be demoted from bridesmaid to guest because she doesn’t fit her dress 🙁 I know it’s a total bummer for you as well, but I think in this case the friendship should probably trump the dress, no?
Post # 12
The alterations specialist can’t gusset the dress or take fabric from someone else’s to make a panel for the dress? I’d be talking to person doing the alterations before you kick the bridesmaid out of the wedding completely.
ETA: I didn’t mean kick her out, that sounded mean sorry! I meant before you take her out of the party completely. +1 on the posts about finding a similar dress or one in the same color family. I hope things work out!
Post # 13
@MrsBeck: @RoseTyler: Wow, a little harsh much? I just wrote above that I cannot get to a store before leaving for the wedding to look for a dress for her and we are too tight on time to order anything online. She also has no time to get to a store because I already asked her if she could try to find something similar-ish.
Post # 14
Agree with Glasgowbound. Why would you kick her out of the bridal party just because her dress doesn’t fit? Was it bad on her part to not try on the dress earlier? Yes. But unless she’s bowing out herself, I would not kick her out. Maybe tell her to try a different seamstress? Otherwise, just have HER go find a similar dress. It’s not your job to find her one.
Post # 15
I agree with the other PPs. If she was important enough to be asked to be a bridesmaid, then her dress not fitting shouldn’t be enough to have her removed from the bridal party. I don’t think I’d be mad at you – just really, really, really upset. I would give her the chance to at least look for something she can wear, and no matter what (well, if she still will after that message), have her up there with you.
Post # 16
One other option: tell her that you still want her to be a bridesmaid and ask her to find an alternative dress.