Bridesmaid can't be in the wedding anymore…3 days before the wedding.

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I should put on my reading glasses. I change my response. I would be ticked if I got discarded as a BM because of being pregnant and the dress not fitting. Find a dress in a similar color and style. Really isn’t that hard.

 

Post # 4
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So you’re kicking her out because her dress doesn’t fit? Can’t you find a dress in a similar color that she could still wear and still stand with you on our day??

if I was her, I’d be pissed at you. I’d feel like you were kicking me out of the wedding because I was fat (even if that’s not what you really mean) 

Post # 5
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m with Glasgowbound.  Is the dress the most important thing about being a bridesmaid?  Is it not about standing up for you, and having those closest to you honored with that title?

Post # 6
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@cali_cat:  do you have a link or picture to the bm dress? I bet someone on the bee could find a similar dress in a store..

Post # 8
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She must be devastated! Bad enough that the dress doesn’t fit but to be just discarded as a bridesmaid at the same time. It must be possible to get her a new dress in time surely? Can she not get to a mall? No wonder she hasn’t got back to you. I hate to sound harsh but please think of her feelings too. 

 

Post # 9
Member
6510 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Glasgowbound:  +1

Yes, she probably should have tried it on sooner but I’m shocked that you’re kicking her out because her dress doesn’t fit. I’m sure you can find something similar for her to wear. If I were her I wouldn’t be answering because I would be upset that you kicked me out of the party.

ETA: Just saw that you don’t have time to look. Have you asked at all if she has time to look?

Post # 10
Member
2361 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@cali_cat:  Can she go to the mall? Can anyone go to the mall for her? I’d be pissed at you as well. Yes, she should have tried the dress on earlier, but presumably you asked her to be in the wedding because she is close to you and means more to you than matching dresses.

Post # 11
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Well, if she’s got the original bridesmaid dress then she can surely take it to the mall and search for something in the same color that will fit her current shape. I just think you shoudl at least give her the opportunity to TRY and find a replacement dress of some type, since it does seem like a pretty big bummer to be demoted from bridesmaid to guest because she doesn’t fit her dress 🙁  I know it’s a total bummer for you as well, but I think in this case the friendship should probably trump the dress, no?

Post # 12
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

The alterations specialist can’t gusset the dress or take fabric from someone else’s to make a panel for the dress? I’d be talking to person doing the alterations before you kick the bridesmaid out of the wedding completely. 

ETA: I didn’t mean kick her out, that sounded mean sorry! I meant before you take her out of the party completely.  +1 on the posts about finding a similar dress or one in the same color family.  I hope things work out!

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Agree with Glasgowbound.  Why would you kick her out of the bridal party just because her dress doesn’t fit?  Was it bad on her part to not try on the dress earlier?  Yes.  But unless she’s bowing out herself, I would not kick her out.  Maybe tell her to try a different seamstress?  Otherwise, just have HER go find a similar dress.  It’s not your job to find her one.

Post # 15
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with the other PPs.  If she was important enough to be asked to be a bridesmaid, then her dress not fitting shouldn’t be enough to have her removed from the bridal party.  I don’t think I’d be mad at you – just really, really, really upset.  I would give her the chance to at least look for something she can wear, and no matter what (well, if she still will after that message), have her up there with you.

Post # 16
Member
1771 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

One other option: tell her that you still want her to be a bridesmaid and ask her to find an alternative dress.

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