Post # 1
I need some serious advice on this one… I agreed to be in a friends wedding last year when she first got engaged.
The wedding is right around the corner and the costs are quickly multiplying into something I definitely cannot afford. I did not know it was going to be a destination wedding when I signed up for this, nor did I know that she would demand a 3 day destination bachelorette in the presidential suite of a pricey hotel (no matter how many other more afordable but still wonderful options were presented)…
The price tag for the dress, alterations, shoes, hair/make-up, hosting the shower, attending the luxurious 3 day bachelorette (that the maids were supposed to plan, but she completely domineered), taking a day off work for the rehearsal, buying a gift, and hotel stay for the wedding, is tipping the scale at close to $2000.00!!!!
All of which, this bride expects us to pay for. I have tried to talk to her about cutting our costs down and she just gets upset refuses to budge. Do I drop out and ruin a friendship? $2000.00 is an enormous sum to ask your friends to pay… And I haven’t even told her that I cancelled my reservation at the hotel she wants us to stay at for the wedding (that I was originally pressured to booK) that is $600.00, and opted for a more economic option.
Post # 3
Tell her, she needs welcomed back into reality. a wedding is not an excuse to act like a snobby spoiled self-centered child on her part.
Post # 4
Yeah, I would probably graciously inform my friend that while flattered she asked me to be a par of her big day, I would have to surrender my bridesmaid title to due to a monetary issue.
If she can’t understand that, shes really not a very good friend anyway.
Post # 5
Let her know how much you can afford (or are willing) to contribute to her big day and that because of the expense, you’ll be unable to attend the bachelorette party.
Be kind and remind her that you love her and want to be a part of your day, but that costs are more than you had anticipated.
Post # 6
Just be honest with her about how you feel. I personally could never afford to be in a wedding where I had to pay $1,000, let alone $2,000!! If she’s a real friend, she’ll see where you’re coming from.
Post # 7
Holy crap! That’s a lot of money! That is really expecting too much from people IMHO. I would tell her how you feel and let her know that you still want to be part of the wedding but you just can’t afford to.
Post # 8
Yeah, seriously. Unless she’s planning on footing some of the bills, she needs to lighten up the load on you. A bridesmaid’s job is to be there for the bride and assist her with her needs, not become homeless and destitute… I think anything over $500 is ridiculous, personally… Heck, I think $200 is asking a lot of someone, but bridesmaid dresses are disgustingly expensives these days.
Post # 9
You should definitely have a conversation with her. As a bride who thinks that BMs take on financial responsibilities when they sign on, that is absolutely ridiculous. I feel bad asking my BM’s to pay about 500$ for everything and have been covering some of their costs to do so.
Post # 10
How good of a friend are you? Because I tell you what. If one of my good friends was acting like this, I would smack a bitch until she realized she was on the planet Earth. who the fuck TELLS her bridesmaids that they HAVE to plan a 3 day B-party!? Is she on crack!? I would either talk to her yourself or maybe get together with the other girls and see how they are feelings. Maybe they all feel like this but no one wants to confront the bridezilla alone. If you have to gang up on her with three other girls then so be it. She is asking WAY too much! WAY TOO MUCH and somone needs to knock her out of the clouds. Hell! I would do it for you!
Post # 11
Um wow, yea you should tell her that you can’t afford this stuff. Definitely tell her your plan about the hotel reservations… don’t keep her in the dark or she will really go bridezilla on you! If I were in the situation, I would probably cut out the bachelorette (since it’s to pricey) and not give her a wedding gift. Then again, I’m all askew when it comes to wedding “etiquette”. 🙂
Post # 12
Wow crazy! If you are close reason with her. If you aren’t close quit.
Post # 13
LOL…I would change my cell number…close my email acct and MOVE. Screw THAT!
Post # 14
Friends don’t make friends spend $2000 when they can’t afford it. Tell her how much you can afford, and if she’s not okay with that, drop out of the wedding and the friendship.
Post # 15
Post # 16
@Miss Tattoo: is there a LOVE button?! seriously! you need your own blog…. i would be a devoted reader! 🙂
and i agree OP! you need to tell her you just cant afford it… if she doesnt understand then she isnt a very good friend and id just cut my losses to be honest.