Post # 1
So I got married in September, and two of my our bridesmaids were restrictive with my bachelorette party since they didn’t have a lot of money. I was okay with it. We had a small get together, drank beers at the river an slept at my house. Not my ideal bachelorette party, and my sil complained the whole time, so it was somewhat miserable, but my moh was so sweet and was really trying her best. My mom and moh did all the work or my shower, my mom did all the food, and she made jam for the shower. It was at my mil’s house. So, it was far from extravagant, and as far as I know my mom took the biggest financial hit here. Now I am in one of the two financially conservative girls weddings and she is having expensive how’re/bachelorette and I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to be the jerk to ruin her day but I feel like things are definitely getting out of hand and she wasn’t afraid to so that for my wedding. What should I do?!?
Post # 3
@Tiamariaqqq: If you don’t have the money for her shower and bachelorette, just let her know, but I wouldn’t not go along with her parties just to spite them for it. If they don’t have money then they don’t have money right?
Post # 4
@Tiamariaqqq: If other people (her other BM’s) are willing to pay for these parties then just let them do it. Contribute what or how you can.
If it is the bride expecting you to pony up crazy cash to throw these parties for her then work out what you can afford to pay for them and let her know that your budget wont extend tot eh things she wants.
Post # 5
Just tell whoever is doing the planning for these events what your budget will handle.
Post # 6
@julies1949: +1 If costs get out of hand, you’ve let them know that you can’t cover that right now and just wish them a fun night.
Post # 7
@Tiamariaqqq: I don’t think you should play “tit for tat” and she didn’t do such and such for me. However, I also don’t think you shouldn’t do anything you can’t afford, or at least something that you are financially uncomfortable doing. If it’s too expensive for your taste, I would be honest and let her know. But I wouldn’t do it because she didn’t drop the dough on you.
Post # 8
@MangoSong: It isn’t really about what she didn’t do for me, I just feel like I am expected to do more than what I expected for her. Would it be rude to contribute to the parties and give a smaller gift? I want to be fair to the other bridesmaids, and I want her to have a great experience, I love her, she is a great friend, I just am trying to figure out what the best way to approach the situation is. Although it does sting a bit that she wasn’t willing to give me 1/2 as good of a bridal experience as she is expecting, I am not one to complain about people not having the money to do things. I let the whole awful bachelorette party go, and have gotten over the fact that my events were pretty sub-par, I just don’t want to ruin her events or go broke over the whole ordeal.
Post # 9
@Tiamariaqqq: If you not having the budget = ruining her day, yikes! I’d just be upfront with her and the other bridesmaids about what you can handle financially. Talk to her separately because you don’t want resentment to ruin your and her experience.
She should understand, because you just got through your wedding too.