- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
This is a long one. Thanks for reading it all
I just started planning my wedding. My family were fine until I announced that I finally had a date and then my cousin’s wife started something. She started telling my aunt how excited she was to be in my wedding. Then she told everybody else how she was going to be the maid of honor. She didn’t There’s just one problem: I have already made my ‘maid decisions. She is not in the wedding.
Now I’m getting pressure from the family to include her because it wouldn’t cost me anything (actually, it would: bridesmaid gifts, hair, makeup) and because it would make her very happy. There are many reasons I am keeping my bridal party small, none of which I feel I should have to justify to anyone.
There are many reasons I don’t want this woman involved, none of which I plan to tell her.This woman is hard to be around. God bless her, but like a whiny 15 year old she makes everything about her self and stirs up drama. Case in point: my wedding is now about how she feels.
I really hate that I’m being forced into a bridezilla situation where i have to pull my “it’s my day” card, but I barely know this woman (we talk maybe once a year and always iin group situations and she lives across teh country), what I do know is that she stresses me out and i dont want here anywhere near me on teh day of the wedding (besides as a guest obviously). I know myself well enough to know that im going to need as much calm as possible which means no her.
I’m also hurt that my feelings about my wedding don’t seem to matter to my family as much as hers do. That seems backwards to me. She has ever holiday, birthday and party for the rest of our lives to be selfish and dramatic as she wants to be.
I’ve put up with her drama and her presumption and her flat out rudeness smilingly on multiple occasions and i really don’t want to encourage her it’s-all-about-me-all-the-time behavior by bending on this. But my family have put me in a position where they have taken away my choice. Since they’ve told me what to do, if I include her its not because I’m being kind, its because i’m giving in.
I have no way of nowing how my family will react to me sticking to my decision, since i thought they were sane before they supported the hissy fit this woman is having. I’m willing to include her in bridal showers, bachlorette parties, anything upto the night before the wedding, and anything after the ceremony photos you name it. I will even invite her to shop for a dress for *her* to wear to the wedding. I just don’t want her in my face and complicating things and stressing me out when im getting ready for the ceremony.
So am I insane? Is it unreasonable to put my foot down about this? Has anyone had to deal with a similar situation? What did you do? How did it turn out.
Thanks a lot. I’m losing my mind over this.