Bridesmaid Dilemma

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Maybe offer to pay half of the dress if its too expensive for her (although I dont think it is) then she has no excuse if then she still whinges about it then ask to step down or wear it you have to go with the majority otherwise youl never get sorted. Atleast she came with you to view flowers its more than most. I cant even get one of my bridesmaids to go and try a dress on let alone go and get measured. Ive decided im not chasing her if she goes to get measured fair enough if she doesnt shes opted out. You should be able to enjoy your wedding not getting stressed out.

 

Post # 5
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I dont mean to sound harsh but its abit much to ask someone to be in your wedding party pay their own dress, hair and make up and expect them to throw a hen party or bachlorette party and buy you a present. Its costing her and you nothing. I also think either you pay for everyone or no one seems a little unfair to me. You shouldnt even have a large wedding party if you can accomodate everyone. We are having  3 bridesmaids we are paying half for their dresses and also to have their hair done they choose not to have their make up done as they would prefer to do it themselves. I wouldnt dream of telling them to have there hair done but for them to get the bill. Dont forget weddings can be expensive for bms too

 

Post # 7
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Im uk to and according to ettitque the brides pay for the bm dresses hair and make up however we cant do this hence why we offered to pay half and paying for hairs. I understand hairdressers charge loads but shop around. You cant expect the bms to have there hair a certain way and pay for it.we are doing without a wedding car so we can pay for the hairs etc to be done for £15 each I also have my a flowergirl and page boy to pay for as their my children. Your bm is telling yoh she cant afford it.

Post # 8
Member
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@mandy86:  That is what I thought too.

 

@Maxyfishface78:  You said you were paying for 4 BM dresses, 3 for your daughters and 1 other. Isn’t it a bit unfair to pay for some girls dresses (the one other) and not the other BM’s?

Post # 9
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You said u are having 9 bridesmaids including a flower girl 3 of which are ur daughters plus 1 flower girl. So your expecting the other 3 bridesmaids to fund themselves?  To me this is wrong why have so many in the first place. I offered to pay half for my close friend as we are paying half for my two FSILs she refused and has offered to pay in full atleast I gave her the option and treated her fairly. I think its going to be a case of agreeing to disagree in this case. But remember your bm jave lives and bills to pay to  if she cant afford it let her step down but dont hold it against her x

Post # 12
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I didnt so but majority of the forum said it is the  uk brides responsibility. I just think its incredibly unfair that u dont treat them all the same. Plus you said this girl is local so surely she wont need accomdation?? Of course your going to pay for the partners to come to the wedding I would refuse to go if my partner wasnt invited. If my kids were or werent fair enough that was your choice to invite children so you cant throw it bk in their faces. The arugment is that uve choose to have so many brides maids most ppl have 2 or 3 but u arent giving them the same treatment.

Post # 13
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Regardless she told you she cant afford it peoples circumstances change accept it but if you ask her to step down accept the friendship might be over. Everyones in the same situation im trying to pay a wedding off bills extra and im on maternity.  You sound like an older bride might be wrong when you said you had quite afew daughters but remember its just one day. Im not attacking you but as a forum you have to accept people might didnt opinions that you might not agree with.

Post # 16
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oh right thort u meant the partners and kids for the sit down meal I misunderstood.  I have to agree then if your paying for the full accomdation then she doesnt really have grounds to moan. I had to pay for my own accomdation for my brothers wedding costing 120 pounds for one night stay and the travelling expenses driving down which werent cheap as we had to hire a car as ours broke down. Realistically they shud be paying their own accomdation but I suppose this out ways the dresses more. X

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