(Closed) Bridesmaid Dilemma – Should I drop out of friend’s wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I drop out of this wedding?
    Yes : (18 votes)
    43 %
    No : (24 votes)
    57 %
  • Post # 3
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I appreciate her part in all of this.  However, since your relationship was somewhat rocky before her engagement, you should have declined her request at that time.  I think that by dropping out 2 months before her wedding, you are making her wedding about you.  Don’t sink to her level.

    Post # 4
    4682 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    How is she behaving toward you now? 

    Post # 5
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Have you talked to her about your current feelings?

    Post # 8
    11 posts

    “I just wonder when is a good time to take a stand for myself, if not now.”

    NOT now. If the wedding’s only 2 months away, your dropping out now would be so miserable for her. She’d feel hurt, undervalued, and as if her friend doesn’t care about her. All of the things your post complained of from your side.

    I hate to say this, but if you’ve been turning the other cheek to her hurtful actions in the past, you can’t entirely blame her for continuing them. What is a friend if not someone you can trust to level with you and tell you when you’re doing something hurtful.

    Dropping out now will do nothing but ensure you lose her friendship forever.

    Post # 9
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Don’t drop out now. Your Ms. Manners is correct. Grin and bear it for two more months, and then reevaluate whether you still want her in your life.

    Post # 10
    1501 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If it is only 2 months away I’d say stick it out. Be there for her for her day and then let the friendship take whatever course it will from then on. Who knows, maybe things will change when you guys aren’t wedding planning and you can take time to just hang out.

    Post # 13
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I think you should just go through with it. That was the plan from the begining and you never do know how things will end up in the long run. Maybe all she really needs is someone to be by her side. I can imagine how hard this must be for you, but if you felt that your relationship wasnt strong enough for this because of your past you should have never agreed to be in the wedding from the beginning.

    Post # 14
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted drop out….here’s why. You say that after the wedding you feel that there will be no friendship anyway. As a bride myself, I would NOT want to look at my wedding pictures and see the bridesmaid in them that I’m no longer friends with! I actually kicked one of my bridesmaids out of my wedding for this reason, I knew that we weren’t “friends” anymore…I knew that I had made a mistake asking her to stand with me and I knew that looking back on my day I did not want to see my “ex”-friend in my wedding pics. Hope this helps. Follow your heart on this one!

    Post # 15
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I agree…..You should follow your heart and it seems like your mind is made up. Although it might not be the popular thing to do and everyone may not agree you are in charge of yourself first and foremost.

    Post # 16
    2161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would not drop out this close to the wedding.  If you were 6 months out, I would say yes, but you would cause a lot of drama for her if you did with such short notice.

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