- 8 years ago
Hi Hive! I’m in a bit of sticky situation right now, and I would love your advice/thoughts. One of my bridesmaids took control of throwing my bridal shower. Some of my other BMs wrote her/texted her/called her interested in helping out, but she didn’t respond to any of them. We talked about it, I sent her a guest list, and she said she was going to be calling the girls back soon and my mom to discuss the shower. (She said she wanted help paying for everything.) I thought all was well. So weeks pass, and I assume she’s getting things together. Then, last week my mom calls me and says, “Um, hon, I haven’t received a shower invitation yet. Isn’t your shower on May 1st?” My mom tells me my BM hasn’t contacted her at all about the shower. I still thought there was time to get the invites out (though I thought it was teensy bit late considering all the OOT guests we have …), but I was worried that my BM hadn’t contacted anyone else about the shower. My mom gave her a call, and that seemed to get the ball rolling. She told my mom all the plans she had, that she had been meaning to call her, and, most importantly, that she would be sending out invitations the next day (last Saturday). … Long story short, she didn’t. My mom called her, texted her, e-mailed her Tuesday trying to figure out what was going on and if she needed help. My BM never returned my mom’s call. My mom went to her work to see if she was there. She was, and she assured my mom the invitations would go out in the morning. My mom asked her to call and let her know if they went out or if she needed help b/c my mom wanted to make sure they got out. Anyway, the BM never called my mom. My mom calls me all upset because she has been calling and texting again and not getting any response. She decided to go to her apt. and just get the invitations so we could send them out ourselves. The BM wasn’t there. So then I called her, and left her a message saying I wasn’t sure what was going on, but that my mom was really upset and I didn’t know why she wasn’t communicating with her.
The BM called me back in like 20 minutes and yelled at me about what nerve my mom had coming to her work and embarrassing her in front of her coworkers and customers and how dare she come down to her apartment and she is way out of line and blah blah blah. And the whole time I just kept asking her why she never called/texted/e-mailed my mom back, and all she could tell me was that she didn’t have time … (Not likely since I saw her doing stuff on Facebook Tuesday and Wednesday.) Anyway, I told her that obviously my mom is an adult and she is an adult and I think they should work it out. She was mad that I wasn’t going to talk to my mom about it and asked me if I was OK with my mom treating her this way and said if I was maybe she couldn’t be a part of any of this … Anyway, I ended up in tears, and she agreed to talk to my mom about it.
The shower is in two weeks. My mom is really upset with her. My BM is really upset with my mom. I am super upset with how my BM treated my mom. First, show some respect for your elders, right? And then, even if she thought my mom was out of line (I disagree), it’s her daughter’s wedding. I can understand her being a little Type A about it.
So now I don’t know what to do. I am still very upset that the BM treated my mom so badly. All I can think about is how if I keep her in the wedding, she is going to be in all my wedding pictures, and for the rest of my life I will look at them and think of how mean she was to my mom. My mom is also my best friend by the way, so it’s really bothering me. Not to mention the other BMs don’t like her for hijaking the bridal shower. What do I do? Can I ask her not to be in the wedding? Should I? How should I approach it? Thanks Hive!