- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
My friend was my best friend for a number of years. We grew apart, but reconnected just before I got engaged. Here is the timelne:
Mar 2011 – engaged asked her to be bridesmaid – wedding Oct 2012 in Toronto (we live in Vancouver)
June 2011 – while dress shopping she tells me her and hubby are going to try for another baby starting in the fall.
July 2012 – I offer that if she gets pregnant and due date is near wedding she doesn’t have to feel obligated as she won’t be able to fly if she is pregnant. She says she will let me know in January
January 2012 – Ask her if she is pregnant…yes, she is due in July, won’t effect Wedding.
February 2012 – She says only she will be coming to wedding as its too much money to fly hubby, her and two kids. I tell her I understand and as much as I want her in the wedding party, I don’t want her to feel obligated. She will be breast feeding, and its a big trip to take after just having a baby.
March 2012 – She is chatting back and forth about Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. I ask again, is she ok with this, I’m getting the feeling she is about to bail. She says she will let me know in April as that is when we should be ordering the dresses.
April 2012 – Mid April, no word, so I send her an email saying it’s April? Do you have a decision yet? no response.
I don’t want to relieve her of her duties, but I really don’t feel like its fair to ask her to fly across the country when she will be off work and have a new baby. She talked about her Mom coming out to help her. I know she can’t really afford it since she will be off with the baby. I can’t afford to pay for her. If she hadn’t gotten pregnant, she could easily have afforded it. (not saying she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant, just saying that when I asked her she was in a position that it wouldn’t have been a strain for her).
To be selfish, I don’t see her being able to be there for me as a bridesmaid. She will be so busy with baby stuff. I also don’t want to be scrambling for a bridesmaid. Wedding is now 6 months away. How much longer do I wait?