- 7 years ago
Just wanted to get some advice about some bridesmaid drama. I’ll be getting married later this year, and once I got engaged I almost immediately knew who I would ask to be bridesmaids. THree of my four bridesmaids I have known since I started college–I’ve known them for almost 10 years. Anyway, I’ve had a falling out with one of my bridesmaids, because she wants a husband and is jealous of me getting married. THe day I got engaged, she told me, ‘I don’t think it will work, but I hope you prove me wrong.” (my FH and I are very happy, btw). SHe is also jealous because I have a job I love and she is about to lose her job (which she hated anyway). Though I’ve tried to be nice to her and even brought in a mediator to discuss the situation, and have sent her uplifting e-mails to give some hope about the job situation, she rarely speaks to me, unless we see each other at an event or are hanging with the other bridesmaids (I always make it a point to say hello, include her in discussions, etc). SHe and I used to be roommates until a few months ago, but we never spoke to each other even though we lived under the same roof, so I decided to move out on my own until the wedding.
I’m not sure what to do at this point to bring the friendship back. Should I relieve her of her bridesmaid duties (she hasn’t bought a dress yet). She seems to be okay with being a bridesmaid, yet we don’t really have a friendship anymore.
To make matters worse, because the four of us (me and three of my four bridesmaids) are all so close, it feels as if the other two have taken sides–one is very excited for me (though she lives out of state and so, can’t help as much as she would like to). The other is reluctant to do anything, though she lives in the same town. She’ll throw birthday parties and events for the friend who is jealous, but goes silent when I bring up the idea of a bridal shower or anything. I know for a fact that my jealous friend has bitched a lot to her about me, but I respected their friendship enough not to to badmouth my jealous friend to our mutual friend and bridesmaid.
I’m not sure what to do…I want true friends around me on my wedding day, and I have other friends who would have loved to be a bridesmaid (and have offered to do a bridal shower even!). With only a few months to go, should make some changes in my bridal party?
I’ve also tried to be very laid-back as a bride…I specified colors, fabric and length, but let them choose their own dresses, shoes, etc. I’m also paying for makeup the day of the wedding and giving them all a bridesmaid luncheon the week of the wedding, plus getting them each one of those cute little “survival kits” as a surprise the day of the wedding. The ONLY thing I’m asking help for from my bridesmaids is some set up just before the rehearsal and cleaning up after the reception.