Post # 1
My fiance is 34 and I am 21
I am having problems with this 17 year old girl lets say her name is Megan that is my fiance’s friend that I have known for ages and is like a sister to my fiance.She has caused alot of drama,hurt and unhappiness in the 32 months I have been with my fiance.Since I got engaged my fiance said to her you can be Hannah’s bridesmaid.I wasn’t even intending on having any bridesmaids. I do not have any girls that are close to me and I love.This girl is a relative and she loves to wind up people.
She told my fiance that my brother and his friend saw me walking with a tall guy months after it happened and that I am cheating on him with him when actually I hadn’t seen him before and I haven’t since that day.Well I was going out for lunch alone and my brother and his friend were driving past and it was another customer.They hadn’t even met Glen at that stage and hadn’t even seen a picture of him. I was so upset when Megan accused me of cheating. She went through all this trouble to get us together and she tried to break us up.She absolutely devastated me.
Megan also pressured Glen into pretending to be her boyfriend so a guy would leave her alone.I was very upset when I got told this
I never ever said Megan could be a bridesmaid and she told her mother and her partner that she is going to be a bridesmaid. How am I going to break the news to her that she wasn’t really a bridesmaid all along? Glen has caused a HUGE mess. I am really worried my father and her mother and partner will pressure me.
My mother asked me who is going to be my bridesmaid and I went I do not know and I started crying.How should I deal with all of this? I do not want to play happy when I am miserable with having Megan as my bridesmaid.
Post # 3
Your Fiance should have never told her that. She is not your friend and shouldn’t be a bridesmaid. This is his mess and he needs to fix it. She is his friend, which is weird that he considers a 17 year old such a close friend, and if he wants her involved in the wedding she can be a groomswoman (or whatever you would call it)
Post # 4
This is his mess to fix, not yours and I’m sorry but I have to ask, since when was it appropriate for 34 yo men to have 17 yo friends who are female?
Post # 5
@hermom: Since it was appropriate for a 31 year old to date an 18 year old (the age the OP started dating…21-32 months=18).
OP: This whole situation does not sound right to me. You started dating this man at a very young age and while I generally say age doesn’t matter (I was with a man 17 years older but I was in my late 30s at the time), it really does when one of the couple is a teenager. I wouldn’t a doubt that this ‘friendship’ with a 17 year old would upset you when he started dating you at the same age. It is not appropriate at all.
As for the bridesmaid issue, she is not YOUR bridesmaid. If he chooses to have her on his side that is his choice but it does not sound like this girl is your friend in any way, shape or form And the fact that your Fiance told her she could be without asking you shows a complete lack of respect for your relationship. With everything that you wrote above I would be reconsidering marrying this man.
Post # 6
You do what makes you happy! It is both you and your fiances wedding, yes. But that means you both need to be happy. If it doesn’t make you happy having her as a bridesmaid, get her the heck out of there!
Post # 8
A mean-spirited girl who is trying to cause trouble in your relationship is so NOT bridesmaids material. Choose your own bridesmaids or decline to have them at all. This is your FI’s mess to clean up and it was NEVER his place to tell other people they could be your bridesmaids. He doesn’t get to choose for you, you are an adult and can decide on your own bridesmaids.
I don’t know what to even say about a 34 yr old man being such good friends with a 17 year old girl…. I find that the more disturbing part to be honest. And then trying to insert her into your wedding party wihtout even discussing it with you first? that wiuld be a red flag to me..
good luck with this situation! I think its time you had a nice chat with your Fiance about this girl and her behavior being out of line…
Post # 9
@PeachSnapple: I have defriended and blocked her on Facebook and she has been unspeakingly selfish and is a real piece of work.I told Glen I don’t really want bridesmaids and he didn’t listen to me and he didn’t even want a best man and I didn’t want it to look funny.
Post # 10
@Luayne: Something in the buttermilk aint clean.-Phadra Parks RHOA