(Closed) Bridesmaid Drama

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your Fiance should have never told her that.  She is not your friend and shouldn’t be a bridesmaid. This is his mess and he needs to fix it.  She is his friend, which is weird that he considers a 17 year old such a close friend, and if he wants her involved in the wedding she can be a groomswoman (or whatever you would call it)

Post # 4
1797 posts
Buzzing bee

This is his mess to fix, not yours and I’m sorry but I have to ask, since when was it appropriate for 34 yo men to have 17 yo friends who are female?

Post # 5
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@hermom:  Since it was appropriate for a 31 year old to date an 18 year old (the age the OP started dating…21-32 months=18).

OP: This whole situation does not sound right to me. You started dating this man at a very young age and while I generally say age doesn’t matter (I was with a man 17 years older but I was in my late 30s at the time), it really does when one of the couple is a teenager. I wouldn’t a doubt that this ‘friendship’ with a 17 year old would upset you when he started dating you at the same age. It is not appropriate at all.

As for the bridesmaid issue, she is not YOUR bridesmaid. If he chooses to have her on his side that is his choice but it does not sound like this girl is your friend in any way, shape or form And the fact that your Fiance told her she could be without asking you shows a complete lack of respect for your relationship. With everything that you wrote above I would be reconsidering marrying this man.

Post # 6
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You do what makes you happy!  It is both you and your fiances wedding, yes.  But that means you both need to be happy.  If it doesn’t make you happy having her as a bridesmaid, get her the heck out of there!

Post # 8
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

A mean-spirited girl who is trying to cause trouble in your relationship is so NOT bridesmaids material.  Choose your own bridesmaids or decline to have them at all.  This is your FI’s mess to clean up and it was NEVER his place to tell other people they could be your bridesmaids.  He doesn’t get to choose for you, you are an adult and can decide on your own bridesmaids.  




I don’t know what to even say about a 34 yr old man being such good friends with a 17 year old girl…. I find that the more disturbing part to be honest. And then trying to insert her into your wedding party wihtout even discussing it with you first?  that wiuld be a red flag to me..


good luck with this situation!  I think its time you had a nice chat with your Fiance about this girl and her behavior being out of line…


Post # 10
7420 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Luayne:  Something in the buttermilk aint clean.-Phadra Parks RHOA


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