(Closed) Bridesmaid Drama!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Hmm.. I see. Well, all I can say is that two of my BM’s kind of hate each other b/c BM #4 hooked up with a guy BM #5 had a huge crush on, then promptly threw him to the curb. BM #4 was also kind of cheating on another guy she was seeing at the time in order to hook up with this guy BM #5 liked. You can imagine how hurt and judgy BM #5 felt after this happened.

Until the point I asked them both to be BM’s, they hadn’t really spoken to each other since the incident. But honestly once they found out they were both BM’s, they did a really good job of putting their differences aside to work together and have since stayed at each other’s apartments, organized my bachelorette and done a ton of stuff for me. They aren’t back to where they used to be, but they put those feelings on the back burner in order to be good BM’s. I’m lucky, I know.

You can try being blunt with your BM who only responds to your questions with questions. Flat out ask her if she’s has a problem still with those girls. You don’t need to apologize or explain yourself, but tell her you understand why she’s mad and hope the three of them can put their differences aside for the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I agree with @moderndaisy. Ask her if she has a problem with the other ladies. If she shrugs it off, tell her that you need her to be supportive and not let something from the past affect the events leading up to your wedding. And if it’s going to be a problem for her to put on her big-girl pants, now would be the time to step down as bridesmaid.

Post # 5
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

 Why is there one in every wedding I totally feel you on this I am going through some BM’s drama and may have to kick her out of my wedding party.  I would just schedule a date with her like coffee and just be honest that will be my approach.  explain the situation and express your concern and if she is a true friend she will understand and try to shape up.  You only get one day and why on earth would you want to worry about your BM instead of having fun at your wedding.  If you chose to keep her in and she doesn’t change I really hope everything works our and maybe who knows the problems between all of them will go away.

Post # 6
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Part of the problem is that you told her you don’t want to hear any grievances about the other two, but now want to ask her what’s eating her.  How is she to answer?  I think that if you have changed your mind about getting the truth out of her, you might want to let her know that it’s OK to talk now.  (Not that you have to do that.)

I don’t know if it’s a good idea to get involved or not.  If you think you can foster some good communication, it might work.  But you don’t want to be sucked into picking sides.  But in some ways, since you asked feuding girls to be in your BP, you might have to do some intervening, if for nothing else than peace at your wedding. 

Good luck.

 

Post # 7
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Honestly I don’t blame her for feeling uncomfortable about the situation. It’s understandable that you don’t want to be in the middle of their drama (which is why you don’t want to hear her say anything negative about the other 2 girls). Well, in being mutual friends with the 3rd of them, you are bound to be in a situation where your involvement is kind of inevitable. Now it looks like that time as come.

You cannot expect her to “just get over it”, esp. since she probably feels like she doesn’t have your support. You can listen to what she has to say but you don’t need to agree with it or go in on the b!itchfest. Sometimes friends just need to vent to one another. She probably wishes she could talk to you about how things went down, maybe she could get closure and move-on if she could do this.

Post # 8
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

I think you should just be frank.

Take her out to lunch. And be like “listen, I love you, and I asked you to be in my wedding party because you are one of my closest friends, that said, so are X and Y. I know you are having difficulty with it …what do you propose you do to get over it? Would you like to step out of the wedding?” 

She is going to be a little shocked and a little flustered, but remain firm. Do not let this woman interfere with your most special day and the special moments leading up to it.

Tell her her attitude has to change. If it doesnt she will not be able to be in the wedding party. You love her and hope she still attends the wedding as a guest, but if she cannot get over herself and act/be pleasant she will be asked to step down. The other girls are willing to come together and bury the hatchet and so must she. Period. Full Stop. Basta! 

 

Post # 9
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

go with your instincts! approach her so you can get it off your chest, otherwise it will cause you more stress in the long run!

I had a BM that just wasnt as into it… long story short, eventually we had a talk and she is now no longer part of the wedding party. overall, i think it was a relief for the both of us.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid Drama!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors