- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
So I have 5 INCREDIBLE bridesmaids. They are my closest friends, and I love these ladies. But the 6th girl has been an issue. I just don’t know what to do about her.
A little background… This girl and I met a few years back. About a year and a half ago (when we were fairly good friends), I asked her to be my bridesmaid. And then about 6 months after, we became inseperable. She was my absolute best friend. Then, in January of this year, she started dating this guy. We all liked him at first, and then he turned into a crazy, manipulative jerk. He started telling her she wasn’t allowed to hang out with us, told her she was fat all the time, broke up with her for fun (just to see her come crawling bacK), and a million other things. Needless to say, we told her to break up with him. We talked to her and tried to convince her for months that he is absolutely crazy. She didn’t listen to us, completely changed into this self-righetous, rude, selfish person, and eventually communication between her and our group of friends stopped. She constantly made plans with us and then ditched us. I really had done everything I could and felt that I couldn’t keep myself in the situation just to continue getting hurt over and over again.
We have hardly been talking over the last month or so, but I have been keeping her in the loop with bridesmaid stuff. She’s been replying to those texts and kept saying she would be at everything. We are scheduled to go buy bridesmaids dresses on Saturday. I texted her two days ago to double check that she was going, and she just said “No I have other plans.” No apology, no explanation. So I told her she needed to find a time soon to go get the dress. She said she would. I told her that it hurt that she was all of the sudden deciding to break plans we have had for a month. She then went into this long speech about how she didn’t need to be my bridesmaid if I didn’t want her, and she didn’t want to be taking up a spot for someone else I could potentially ask. This is the game she plays… she wants out, but she wants me to kick her out so she doesn’t look bad for “quitting.” I basically told her that I asked her for a reason, and I wouldn’t be the one to kick someone out. And that it would be rude to ask another bridesmaid 4 and a half months out and make them feel second string. Plus, even if she drops out, I am not asking someone else. I don’t care about numbers being even, I am just irritated that she is doing this right now, so close to the wedding. The conversation basically went back and forth like that for awhile, and then I told her she needed to let me know by Saturday since we need to get the dresses.
At this point, I am just so annoyed with her, and it’s clear she doesn’t want to be in the wedding. All of my bridesmaids are in the same tight knit group of friends, so they all know what’s gone on in the last few months. It would be really awkward for her to continue to be in the wedding at this point anyways. I don’t even know if I want her in my wedding after all this crap. But I’m trying to be a good person. So I don’t know what to do.
Help me out bees.. Do I just wait for her response and hope she drops out herself? Or do I just kick her out of the wedding?
Sorry for the rambling and the drama. Thanks in advance for the help!