Bridesmaid DRAMA

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do about this bridesmaid?
    Wait and hear what she decides : (9 votes)
    29 %
    Just kick her out...Its not worth it anymore : (21 votes)
    68 %
    Something else...what? : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I wouldn’t even wait for her answer, even if she decided to stay in the bridal party she would still be s sucky bridesmaid. I’d do it for her, and let her go. No need to have annoying people around you on the most important day of your life.

    Post # 4
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I voted to ask her to step down, and you can still invite her as a guest.  I think if she’s already causing this much drama and stress, then I can only imagine what will happen as your wedding day gets closer.  The wedding will keep you plenty busy as it is without having to deal with any immature drama lamas!  Plus, it doesn’t really sound like she even wants to be a BM at this point.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I’d probably just stop bringing it up altogether. If she won’t follow through with at least getting the dress then she is out.

    Post # 6
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Do you have the dress picked out already? Or are your BMs choosing their own dress? This is what I did with my bridesmaid situation. I wanted to ask her to step down but didn’t want to be the bad guy in the situation. 

    I gave her a deadline. In Feb. I told her you need to order your dress by April 30. I reminded her once when I went to the store with another BM. I told her we were going and asked if she wanted to come. Said we’d do dinner after. She said no “You don’t understand that I’m busy”. May 2 I called her and told her that the deadline passed and I was sorry to say it wouldn’t work out. 

    There’s only so much you can do after the deadline passes. I’d just leave the ball in her court for now. If she doesn’t do anything about it, then you have your answer. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    42538 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Go shopping with the other girls on Saturday. If she doesn’t show, text or email her the last possible deadline date to purchase her dress. If she doesn’t meet the deadline it will be her choice to drop out.

    I think you are right. She is just trying to make you the bad guy.

    Post # 8
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would probably ask her to step down. She’s trying to get your to kick her out so that you look like the bad guy, but who cares? Your mututal friends seem to understand that she’s changed and don’t want anything to do with her, so it’s not like they will judge you for kicking her out. She will probably bitch to her BF, but that doesn’t matter because no one likes him anyway, so why would it matter if he thinks less of you than I’m he already does?

    You can wait to see what happens on Saturday, but if she keeps playing the “maybe you should find someone else if you don’t want me anymore” boo hoo, poor me act, then call her bluff and just tell her that you agree and she is no longer a BM. I get that you’re not supposed to kick people out, but if they are trying to make you kick them out because they don’t want to look bad by dropping out you might as well just do it. It will probably end this friendship, but it looks like it was already dying a slow and painful death so you might as well put it out if it’s misery.

    Post # 11
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m pretty sure I dated her crazy ass boyfriend once, too.

    I wouldn’t kick her out, and here’s why:

    I also hated a horrible emotionally abusive douchebag. While everyone knew he was emotionally abusive, no one knew that he was also physically and sexually abusive. I also made plans with friends, and frequently broke them last minute because of my boyfriend’s whims and wishes.

    Then I would say “oh, I forgot” or “I wound up having other plans” when the reality was that I was scared to make him angry.

    I think when your former BFF and this guy eventually break up, she’s immediately going to appologize to every single one of you.

    But if you kick her out of the wedding party, I think you’re going to permenently end a friendship that I think it totally salvageable.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Look do what you have too for your wedding. I also see some major warning red flags about this boyfriend. If this bridesmaid has major conflict with friends and family to the point where she not hanging out or doing anything without her boyfriend, it’s quite possible she is being abused.

     

    Often times victims of domestic violence have a tendency to alienate their friends and family, and by the time they become isolated the abuser is able to move in and abuse without having anyone around to witness it.

     

    It’s quite possible she just being a pain the ass, and she one of those people who once they get in a relationship their whole lives revolve around their new partner. But given the negative things you said about it, I think there more to this then meets the eye.

     

     

    //

    Post # 14
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @beedee12:  I think the best option is like another member said and give a deadline… I.E. I know you can not make it Saturday but the dress needs to be ordered by August 5th. I will let you know the style and color we picked and here is the number of the shop. You can go get measured by them or have someone else do it

    My dresses had to all be ordered together so the fabric was from the same lot. This is very realistic to assume all dresses are ordered together from one shop. A deadline lets her know 1.) you want her there and 2) the ball is in her court

    Post # 15
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Kick her out and forget about it.  If both of you play the game that the other person should do it you’re gonna be in a world of stree and trouble.

    She made her choices but aparently needs someone to cut the cord.

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