Bridesmaid drama

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2818 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Bainise2013:  Anyone who curses at me and/or puts their hands on me would be expelled from my life, let alone my wedding party. I understand about her borderline issues, but if she is an adult, her mental health is her responsibility. If you already have the dress in your possession, I would call her (not text or email) and unceremoniously say, “I’m really sorry you felt the need to speak to me the way you did the other day, but I’ll take it that you no longer want to be in the wedding party. I’m not happy about it, but I understand. I will make other arrangements regarding the dress” and hang up.  It doesn’t matter whether she shows up or not because I assume you have other relatives who can reign her in at the wedding. It only matters whether she possesses the dress, because if she does, she might try to wear it and refuse to accept that she’s not in the BP. Best wishes honey, this truly sucks. i hope you rdecision is supported as I would hope no one in your family would expect you to give an honored position to someone who hit you and cursed at you.


Post # 4
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Overjoyed:  +1

@Bainise2013:  as long as you have the dress in your possession, you can say what overjoyed has suggested.

im sorry you have to deal with this crap!

Post # 5
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Bainise2013:  Ok… as someone with experience… if you tell her “no, you are not in my wedding” she will show up… because she will do what you dont want her to do….

If your friend comes, awesome. And if your sister doesnt, awesome.. your friend can use your sister’s dress. I would not pay for anything and have your sister pay. if she does not then she can not use it as an excuse

Post # 6
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Overjoyed:  +1

@JessSeny:  +1

@Bainise2013:  JessSeny is right: she’s going to do the opposite of what you want or are expecting from her. We strongly suspect my mother has the same condition, and everything you just described fit her to a “T.”

My mothers behavior and attitude has me right on the verge of telling her she isnt welcome at our wedding…but I understand as well as you do how hard it is to actually execute something like that. Your whole family gets caught up in the drama, and the borderline person acts even more foolish than usual.

The difference for you, in my opinion, is that she put her hands on you. That would be it for me, period.

Post # 7
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@Overjoyed:  100% agree.

She pushed you?  Done.  Just done.  You don’t deserve to deal with that.

Post # 10
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Bainise2013:  At this point, you don’t need the stress. Frankly you need to mentally rest to prepare for the next battle.

I would have your FI talk to her, tell her you are not apologizing and she is not welcomed this weekend if she does not.

Crazy question: but can you ‘move’ your bach party? LIke are you going bar hopping or do you have a spa day where you can have staff block her from attending?

Post # 11
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Honestly, I would say to even forget about the dress at this point. Pushing, screaming, temper tantrums? No, no, and no. I hope your venue has good security, because if she does show up, you’re going to need their help. What I don’t understand is why your parents seem to be supporting her behaviour, instead of trying to help you. If this is what she’s doing leading up to your wedding, I can only imagine what she’s going to do on your actual wedding day. Personally, I would consider having her banned from the premises, with co-operation from security.

As for the bachelorette party, does she already know the details? Can you just go without her? Or change the plans and don’t tell her. Seriously, once someone puts their hands on me, that’s it. She should just be thankful you didn’t have her butt thrown in jail for assault.

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