Bridesmaid Drama

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@love2wearpolo:  …this lady has got bigger problems than a discontinued bridesmaid dress.  Compulsive lying is a symptom of much larger problems, and you just cannot take this personally because I’ll bet she lies to EVERYONE.

Either way, this problem has taken care of itself, she doesn’t have the dress, she’s not a bridesmaid…end of story.

Her lack of response is typical to a compulsive liar thats been caught…if she can’t lie her way out of it, she’ll avoid it for as long as she can, and since she’s literally in another state, its easy to ignore you…

Just don’t let it upset you. 

Post # 5
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@love2wearpolo:  I’d be equally worried about the fact that she’s avoiding you now. It’d be one thing if she fessed up and claimed she just lied so you wouldnt worry and she meant to do it very soon before you ever found out or something… but just ignoring you? Sounds like this one might be an uphill battle and you might just want to nip it in the bud. 

 

“Hi Texan, Because you wont get ahold of me to tell me otherwise, I’m just going to have  to assume that you aren’t interested in being a part of the wedding party. Im hurt but ultimately I do not want the experience to be a burden for you. I sincerely hope to see you at the wedding as a guest. Take care.”

 

 

Post # 6
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@love2wearpolo:  Really, it isn’t worth the time…and you can call her until your phone dies, as long as she knows its you…she won’t answer it….I had a friend who was VERY similar, although nothing quite so urgent as your scenario….its nothing to take personally because her coping mechanisms are warped.

Post # 7
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no point in being pissed or upset. This girl has problems that you can’t change.

I would just leave her one message saying “I’m aware that you haven’t purchased the dress  for whatever reason. I am sure it will come as no surprise to you, that if you do not have the dress by the wedding date, you will not be a bridesmaid. Of course you will still be welcome as a guest.”

Post # 8
Hostess
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@love2wearpolo:  First off, welcome to weddingbee! I am sorry you aren’t joining us for a more happy post though!

I second what everyone has said, she doesn’t have the dress, shes avoiding your calls then its important that she knows that she has caused you stress and she is no longer in the wedding. Making the call will definitely be difficult but it will take a huge load off your shoulders. I especially think MrsBuesleBee has worded it really well.

Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Its a little harsh to be lied to by a friend. I would probably feel the same as you, although i am not much help, because i also dont know how i would kick her out. sorry ((hugs))

Post # 11
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This girl has done you a big favour by showing you her true colours. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

Cut your losses. There are still a lot of aspects to a wedding; the BM dress is just one thing. There are way too many other things she can screw up for you, and you don’t need that stress.

To be honest, I wouldn’t even invite her to the wedding. She flat-out lied to you, and from what you know, she has a history of lying. Don’t reward her bad behaviour by letting her still be a part of something so important to you. Maybe that’s harsh, but one of my biggest regrets about my wedding is not removing someone who caused me a lot of stress and headache.

Since she doesn’t have a dress, she’s not a bridesmaid, period. Since she lied to you, she obviously doesn’t care enough about you to be included in your celebration. If, through some miracle, she manages to get a dress, then you have a whole other problem on your hands: don’t trust her with anything, don’t rely on her for anything, and make sure your other BMs know that she is not to be trusted. It might create some drama, but it might help reduce the drama too.

Good luck.

Post # 13
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@love2wearpolo:  I feel for you. It’s a terrible situation she’s put you in. If she’s going to ignore your calls, it just means you don’t have to deal with her garbage anymore. Leave it on her voicemail and consider it done. It will probably be the end of your friendship, but she doesn’t sound like much of a friend.

“Lexi, I know you’re avoiding me and I know you don’t have your dress. I don’t appreciate you lying to me. You’ve caused me a lot of stress and I’m upset about it. I think it is best for everyone if you are not a part of the wedding.”

Post # 15
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@love2wearpolo:  Because confrontation sucks! But remember youre going through this uncomfortable moment now to manage your stress, protect your emotions, and get this off your shoulders so you can have a great wedding planning, bridesmaids, day-off experience.

 

So just rip off that bandaid and have a cocktail. 

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