- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
So this, by far, has been the most stressful part of my wedding for me up to this point. Here’s what’s going on:
1) My fiancé and I both have huge families. We are paying for 80% of the wedding ourselves, so we decided to have a small wedding party – 1 MOH and 2 BM, and 1 BM and 2 GM
2) I chose my BMs and MOH early on and asked them, they were all very special to me and, we’ll call her BM # 2 is family and has always been a part of my life.
3) My family got in a huge fight with BM #2’s family over something completely unrelated to the wedding.
4) BM #2 stopped speaking to me regularly…I did my best to keep communication open but she shut down on me. This part I don’t understand because the issue was with our families and not between us. But it was also a very delicate issue so I don’t want to push it.
5) BM # 2 also had a death in her fam during the process
6) With all of the drama, I asked BM #2 if she would still feel okay being in my wedding, considering everything that happened (drama with our families, and her personal stuff). And that if she didn’t, I would understand and would still want her to attend the wedding.
7) BM #2 keeps saying she still wants to be in the party, but she won’t be able to attend everything, due to what happened between the families…that makes me feel really uncomfortable because I don’t want to constantly be reminded of that issue every time she doesn’t want to attend an event. I’m also not comfortable with it because it means she doesn’t feel comfortable with my family. And, really, I just want to think happy thoughts!
I don’t know what to do…she’s a great friend and I don’t want to lose her, but at this point, I feel like I don’t want to deal with all that stuff anymore. If I let her stay in it, it’s with an understanding that she won’t be attending some events because of the rift between the two families. If I replace her and ask her to come as a guest, it would give me peace of mind during this process, but I could be risking a friendship
What would you do???