Bridesmaid Drama – but not the kind you think!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

How close are you with his sisters? If you’re fairly close, I’d just have an open and (sorta) honest conversation saying that you’d planned on having a small bridal party, but after reflecting, realized that, after all they’ve done and with how much they mean to you, you couldn’t get married without having them by your side. There’s still tons of time if the date you have is correct. How long ago did you “announce” your bridal party? Is there any way you can make it out as you not having gotten around to asking them yet or that you thought they already knew they were bridesmaids?

Post # 4
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@LindyLu:  I would just say what you’ve said here.  Siblings-in-law are always a little tricky, and I would absolutely understand if my brother’s future wife came to me and explained this situation.  You sound very thoughtful and well-meaning!

Post # 5
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@LindyLu:  At this point, I would have them. It sounds like you WANT them, but are just hung up about the number. WHO CARES if you have 6 vs 4? No one. I promise. I would call them both up and arrange a time for the three of you to get together, let them know that you originally thought you should have a small number, but it was eatng at you and you simply must have them by your side – will they pretty please be bridesmaids? 

Post # 6
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

How in the world were you supposed to devine they’d want to be bride’s maids?

I have 3 brothers, 2 of whom are married.  I love both my SIL but I wasn’t a bride’s maid for either.

My FI is not using my brothers as groomsmen and I am not using his sister’s as bride’smaids.  

Maybe it’s our greater culture, but it never was a topic, and in other weddings in college (we had a chapel on campus) it was often seen as “pathetic” as if you didn’t have enough friends and had to borrow your future spouses.

If you want to change your mind just be really clear “I didn’t think of it at the time”

Plus, I don’t think bridesmaids are often readers.

Post # 7
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would just speak openly and honestly like you did here. Hopefully they understand. I know I would. 

Post # 8
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Honesty is the best policy.

Post # 9
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Honestly, I think its great that you are still trying to include them. For my brother’s wedding last year, my 2 other brothers were groomsmen, and I was the only one in the family NOT invitied to be a part of it. At the last minute they felt bad for me and said I could walk the dog down the aisle. I politely declined.

Post # 10
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LindyLu:  you know I don’t know a lot of people use their inlaws as their bridal attendants….to me it’s not neccissary or was it expected. How close are you to them?

 

Post # 11
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@LindyLu:  but if your FI wanted his sisters to be in the bridal party, how come this didn’t come up before you started asking people? Didn’t you guys discuss who would be part of the bridal party? However, it’s still not too late. I would go with @JrzyGurl:‘s strategy and present it to them in that way. Best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@LindyLu:  Good luck with everything! I am sure everything will turn out fine. 

 

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