Bridesmaid Drama-Help!

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

My vote is suck it up and deal until the wedding.  If she comes through for you, great!  If not, well then you’ve done all you can.

It’s unfortunate, but to me it sounds more like her insecurities are what’s causing her to be the “grumpy bridesmaid”.  She may be consistently backing out and being fussy because she feels badly about herself.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be about jealousy.  Especially since it sounds like the grumpiness started after she couldn’t feel happy in any dresses she tried on.  Just be patient with her and let her work it out.  Please don’t confront her, because it if is insecurities, she’s likely to get very reactive.

Congratulations on your wedding. 🙂

Post # 3
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

I would have another talk with her. Once you ask someone to step down as a BM things change instantly. I would see what is bothering her so much because you feel as though she doesn’t give a damn about your wedding if that’s the case why is she going to be in it and give you that kind of stress.

Post # 4
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Have you only been in touch with her regarding wedding things only? Have you tried to contact her or make plans with her outside of wedding related things? Perhaps she is going through something, and needs you to be there as a friend and not a bride.

How about giving her a call to talk to her about her life as opposed to making her feel like you’re checking up on her. I’m not saying that you are, or that you are in the wrong for wanting to know whats going on. But, I think sometimes already insecure friends get easily annoyed when they’re only being contacted with wedding related topics.

 

Post # 5
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

MrsKJS:  I agree with PP, talk to her and see what her deal is.  If she’s plain jealous then you need to explain to her that life isn’t as magical as we dream about when we’re kids that as your friend, she needs to support you and when her time comes, you’ll do the same.  That’s what friends do… I have a friend very similiar – when we were the same person (no BF’s, living at home, working during the week) we talked and hung out all the time.  Now that I live with my BF, close to getting a house and engaged, we hardly ever talk and when we do she brings up how she never sees me, I tell her that I’m here in my life and you’re there.  We can still be friends but it will never be the same as before… if she’s any true friend, she’ll understand and if not then ask her if she would like to back out to save both of you guys stress and time.

Post # 6
Member
7531 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

MrsKJS:  I agree with LMD:, I would also include her in other things you used to do.  Once the wedding is over, she might just bounce back to being her old self.  If she has been jealous, or not feeling good about herself -appearance, where her life is going/or not, your wedding might make her feel bad for herself.  Try doing something together non-wedding focused if you can, make it light. If you can’t just suck it up til after the wedding, then try to schedule something you used to enjoy. You may not have to demote her or lose your friendship.  Good luck!

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