- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
I chose 6 BMs for my wedding. One of them I mainly picked because Fiance really wanted me to, she’s my friend as well but more FI’s than mine, really. Fiance only had 5 Groomsmen in mind, so we came up with someone to add as a 6th since both of us were completely set on an even party, just personal preference. We don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor or best man.
We all went dress shopping last fall. All the girls picked their own dress, with my color and length specifications. We ended up going with Alfred Angelo as the designer though I pretty much let my girls pick that too. Since I ordered my gown from that store, they all got $10 off their dress, and they also know I’ll be contributing a little bit to their dress as their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift. Most of the girls made the downpayment that day. I got a call in November saying that all AA dresses were going to increase in price by $8-12 per dress, and I needed to order within about 2 weeks to get the original price. The two BMs that hadn’t paid, told me they would, and then later told me they’d paid. I was busy so I didn’t think to call to double check.
Well, come January, I DO call to double check and to ask when the dresses would be in… they hadn’t been ordered because one of my girls never paid! So now the price has gone up for everyone, and it was 5 months before my wedding and the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses weren’t ordered. I called, texted, and FB messaged this Bridesmaid or Best Man. She didn’t respond for a couple weeks, then messaged me saying she’d order that week, she just had to get the money from her parents (who had told her they’d pay, apparently). At the end of the week (this was about 2 weeks ago) I started trying to contact her again, and again she never responded for over a week. Finally I told Fiance to try to contact her and ask what was up- she messaged him back on FB within hours. She said she didn’t have the money and couldn’t afford to buy the dress. When Fiance asked, aren’t you parents paying? She said that they would either pay for a spring break trip or the dress and she’s going on the trip. That’s the last we’ve heard from her.
So now, because she didn’t order, I’m left having to tell my girls that they will be paying $8-12 more each than they expected, and also that this Bridesmaid or Best Man (who some of them are friends with) had to drop out. Also, we have no idea how to deal with the whole wedding party, since we have 6 guys and 5 girls now. And it’s 4 months until the wedding and I just ordered the dresses yesterday.
I guess this is partly just a vent, since I’m fairly upset… but also I’m looking for a bit of advice… How do I tell my BMs it will cost extra? How do I explain why we’re one short suddenly? (I don’t want to throw this former Bridesmaid or Best Man under the bus but I don’t want it to sound like my fault either.) How do we organize this whole walking up the aisle thing? Will the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses get here in time?
Also, I’m at a loss with my friendship with this girl. We aren’t inviting any friends to the ceremony or dinner who aren’t in the wedding party- it’s pretty much family only, and our closest friends who we want there are in the wedding in some way. Had this girl just told me right away she couldn’t afford it, or had she been honest, I would’ve given her another role that didn’t require money or at least invited her as an honorary guest… but Fiance and I are both so upset with her I find it hard to even imagine giving her another role.
Sorry this got so long. This is the first major drama I’ve had with the wedding and I didn’t expect this from any of my BMs… I’m just disappointed.