bridesmaid drama, need advice – LONG

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

i am so sorry you are going through this. that really sucks sometimes that women can be that catty to ‘friends’. seems that A is the major instigator in all of this. seems that B is – no offence – ‘two faced’. seems that you really need to have it out with A. she’s holding a major hate towards you still and is making you suffer by the only way she knows how – by making B hate you as well. and it seems to be working. have you just hung out with A on your own? you wrote that B is good on her own but what about A. Frankly, having a friend is a two way street, you both should benefit from each others friendship. seems that you’re more suffering than benefitting. i would have one final talk with A and B separately and then make your decisons from there. PERSONALLY i would kick them out. this is such an important day in your life that you need the support of everyone around you. you’re not getting it from A and B. and i know its hard to do so, but i am sorry to say – it doesnt seem that they care too much for you anyway. but have one last chat, weigh the pros and cons and i say you’ll know deep down what you could and should do. (hugs)

Post # 3
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Summer1985:  Why the hell are you even still friends with these women? I don’t understand why you want any contact with them, let alone why you’d want them in your wedding. You don’t seem to like A, and you seem to be under the impression that A has corrupted B? Sorry, “awesomely nice” people don’t magically turn into insensitive bitches depending on who’s in the room…B sounds two-faced indeed. Niether of them like you anymore. 

If you share a lot of common friends, I might not cut contact with them altogether, but I would most definitely cut them from the wedding and distance yourself, for sure stop going on group dates with them. Why would you waste your time with these people? It sucks they aren’t who you thought they were, but it’s time to move on and focus on your new life ahead. These ladies aren’t worth your tears. 

Post # 4
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

I would drop A and B from my wedding and my life.

Post # 5
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

It kind of sounds like they may have started dating (or were for a time) and didn’t really want to address it with you. The only other people I have seen act like this are blood sisters practically twins. Just a thought. Regardless, just ignore it and be resolved to have a good time. If they want to be catty behind your back, let it stay behind your back, and just ignore it. You can let the friendships naturally dissipate after the bachelorette and wedding. You will be too busy with your awesome husband and making new friends together anyway 🙂

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’m so sorry to you to deal with drama. It sounds like these two women are not your friends. I would also say to give them the boot, they do not derserve to be raining on your parade. No matter how much you talk to them, it seems like they will just talk about you to themselves. They are not true friends. Hope things get better for you 

Summer1985:  

Post # 9
Member
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Posts about kicking out bridesmaids tend to get pretty heated, pretty quickly.  That being said, I think you need to ask yourself what benefit would it be to you and your fiance to have these girls stand up for you on your wedding day?  They don’t stand up for you for friendship, so what makes it seem like they care about you or your marriage?

You may want to sit down and have a private conversation with each girl (separately) and come straight out with it.  Ask them what is going on and whether they really have any interest in being a part of your wedding.

I would not want you having to deal with this catty drama on your wedding day and it sounds like you need to stand up for yourself in this situation. My friend had a terrible bridesmaid in her wedding party who created a lot of drama over the course of the wedding planning, and also on the wedding day.  They don’t speak to one another any more.

So if you think it’s already heading down that road, why have them create stress for you on your wedding day?

Good luck.  I’m so sorry that you are having to deal with this!

Post # 11
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. It must be really hard. Especially in such a happy time in your life. it seems like you’ve tried to talk it out With them, but it’s falling on deaf ears. I can’t say that I would feel comfortable with these two in my bridal party if I were in your position. Bridesmaids are supposed to be your closest and most supportive friends. You shouldn’t feel like crap when you’re hanging out with them. What does your gut say?

Post # 12
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Seattle, WA

I’m sorry that you are going through this, and I don’t mean to be harsh, but to me it doesn’t sound like they are interested in keeping a friendship with you.  If I were you I’d kick them both out of the wedding and out of my life, and a PP mentioned above.  There is absolutely no need for you to be crying over two people who clearly don’t care about your feelings. Move on, there are much better friends out there!!

Post # 13
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m pretty blunt person when it comes to my friends so personally I would just come out and be like “What the hell is going on?  You are making me feel like shit and I’m constantly reconsidering our friendship.  Do you want to be my friend still? Because you sure as hell aren’t acting like you do.”  Maybe not be that blunt but definitely ask those questions and get to the bottom of it.  They either need to start acting like friends or stop seeing you.  There is no need to be in any friendship that makes you feel like this.  If this were a boyfriend you probably would have dumped him a long time ago because you wouldn’t have been getting anything from the relationship, why are friends any different?  It’s better to have no friends than fake/bitchy friends who treat you badly.  Stick up for yourself and show them that you will no longer tolerate the things they are doing to you.  Goodluck and let us know how it goes!!!!  Just remember you don’t deserve this and the friendships may not be worth saving, but that is OKAY because even though loosing friends is sad and hard and really sucks it always ends up better in the end and you need to make sure your decision is going to make YOU happy.

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