Post # 1
Ladies, I have a delimma and I apologize for my long story. My MOH has been a total nightmare. At First she didn’t seem excited for me, she’s just not around, complained to her BF when we went dress hunting, I just feel like she isn’t into it…..but I believe ti has to do with her cheating lifestyle. Let’s call her MOH
I picked her as my MOH cause we are very close friends. FI and her boyfriend are also very good friends and we always hang out together. She started cheating on him a year ago and had this full blown relationship with another guy. She would hang out with him and use one of our friends (who is also one of my BM) as an excuse, but this BM was completely ok with it and she would come along too. I didn’t like what the BM was doing and it makes me wonder about her character as well as the MOH. The thing is, the other BM was also good friend with the boyfriend and always come around and smile in his face. Let’s call her Exh A.
Her boyfriend ended up catching her in the sac with this guy and broke it off but later decided to work things out. Now they are back on. I’m happy they are working things out (relationships can be complicated), but now my MOH is pissed at a good friend of mine (who is also one of my BM). Let’s call her Exh B.
MOH hates Exh B because she became good friends with her boyfriend while they were broken up. But they never did anything! They are just friends and we were all there to support him when he was heart broken. Anyhow, now the MOH is lashing her anger out on the innocent BM of mine. She told her off 2 weeks ago. I feel like it’s a way to blame others for your issues. She told me that she’s sorry and would never make it awkward for me at the wedding but I feel that’s a little too late. I’m really frustrated. FI said to give the MOH the boot and to be honest, I want to also give Exh A the boot too. But how the heck do you uninvite a MOh and BM. The MOH might be easier cause she’s starting a lot of drama but the BM hasn’t done anything to us persay. I just don’t like her ways and character in this whole ordeal.
FI told me something that was very true. A wedding is supposed to be about love and faith and commitment. MOH is bringing about a lot of bitterness and other BM (Exh A) is right along with her. What to do…..
Post # 3
i would give them both the boot. I for one had to kick out a BM becuase she was being realyl snarky and saying that i intentionally left her out fo things, which wasn’t true. She just wanted to do things on “her” time.
I am a firm believer that if you are spending all this money on a wedding, the ladies you want by your side are huge supporters and women you love and adore.
They say that weddings brings out people’s true colors. and you just got proof of that.
Post # 4
I’d be booting them both out. This isn’t supposed to be a drama affair but that’s what they are going to make it into. Don’t surround yourself with that on your special day unless you want to risk how stressful it is.
Post # 5
Telling the MOH that her drama is making it really bad for me and FI is easy because she is actually causing all the drama. How do I tell the other one (Exh A) when she hasn’t done anything to me? I don’t know….weddings are about love and all the happy memories to share with people who love you but how do I have the heart to tell uninvite someone.
Post # 6
@Ms. Giselle: I agree, I’d give them both the boot, it’s so hard to make the final decision–there shouldn’t be any drama at all. It’s you and your FI day, noone elses! You can’t be bothered with two people not getting along. Goodluck!!
Post # 7
@Ms. Giselle: tell Ms. A that due to her behavior, you don’t feel she has the same beliefs/feelings as you do towards the sanctity of marriage. That her polygamist behavior doesn’t sit well with you and you don’t wish to have someone who doesn’t believe in faithfulness towards a man and woman stand up for you at your wedding.
Of course, it might need rewording, but it should get the point across that you don’t accept her crappy attitude/behavior. 🙂
good luck and sorry you gotta deal with this!!!
Post # 8
Wow…that’s quite the drama for sure! I would say that if you are willing to break all ties with your MOH and BM, then kick them out. But you have to realize that it will likely ruin the friendship for a very long time (if not forever). Did you know about your MOH’s character before you picked her, or was her behavior a sudden change? If this behavior is typical for her then you should have known that before you picked her. If the behavior has only happened in the past year or so, it may be reflective of some major life problems that she has going on and maybe what she needs above all is a friend.
Post # 9
maybe i’m being really dense, but i dont really understand why you are kicking Exh A. out? i know she did a bad thing, but she isnt causing drama now? or do you think it will all kick off? Totally agree with you about MOH though!
Post # 10
Remember this day is about YOU and your GROOM!! You need no tension or worry on this day!! Go with your gut! If you think them being there will stir up bad feelings and make you worry more…don’t have them in it. Tough call….I wish you luck! But again..it is your day to be HAPPY!!!
Post # 11
I can understand asking MOH to step down, but not the BM. Personally, I would never tell a friend’s BF that my friend was cheating on them, that’s just me, but I wouldn’t, because I don’t feel like it’s my place, even if I don’t approve of my friends behavior. You never really know what goes on in other people’s relationships.