Bridesmaid Drama……VENT TIME

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldnt disinvite her to the wedding. She may not show, but having her step down as a bridesmaid is likely enough. Unless you think she’s going to cause a scene at your wedding, in which case I’d consider it.

Post # 3
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

missbarbados:  That would be petty. She is may too embarssed to be up front about her financial problems if she is still having them, but there could be other things going on with her also.  That is no reason to cross her off your list entirely.

Post # 4
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Although I know you are upset, and rightfully so, I don’t know about un-inviting her to the wedding, that seems a little bit harsh. But, I’m guessing she’s not going to be the bridesmaid. She didn’t order a dress or anything, right?

I understand that her behavior is really rude, but maybe she’s got some issues going on financially and she’s embarassed.

I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 5
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

missbarbados:  I had a BM dodge me for a while, we finally chatted and she felt bad because she didn’t have time/couldn’t afford to be a BM and wanted out. I respected her for being honest with me, and we’re still friends.

It’s too bad your friend couldn’t do that. I would still send her an invitation, but don’t be surprised if she doesn’t show up.

Post # 6
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

missbarbados:  don’t take away her invite…but definitely consider her out of the wedding party. 

Post # 7
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I feel its a shame that she is causing all this unnecessary drama for you and not being straight up on what her real intentions are regarding the wedding. Who needs a friend like that? I get it; weddings are expensive, but as you said, you gave her options to not be a bridesmaid and she keeps making these promises to be there and to pitch in, and she never does. Its one thing if she didn’t make it on one occasion, but its quite another for her to reach out to the bridesmaids and make these other promises on being there. That to me, isn’t a friend in my book. You have tons of things to worry about; and this shouldn’t be one of them. I say don’t invite her. Doesn’t mean you can’t ever talk to her again; but why would you want someone at your wedding who has caused you this stress and extra drama. 🙂 Hope this helps

Post # 9
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

jrae05:  Maybe she wanted to be there for the OP and thought she could pull it off. But if she’s going through troubles and is embarassed of it, she might’ve not known how to deal with it. While it’s not the ideal way to handle her problems, the girl’s financial stress takes precedent over a friend’s wedding. I’d hardly say blacklisting her is the right thing to do.

Post # 10
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

missbarbados:  Regardless of age, if someone is dealing with something that they are ashamed of, sometimes they just don’t know how to handle it or share it with their friends. It’s obviously unfortuante that it happened during your wedding planning, but perhaps she’s in over her head.

Post # 11
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Well, if the girl was already invited then ofcourse you shouldn’t take the invite back. I was just assuming that she hadn’t sent out invites yet. It just bothers me that you have given her several opportunities to step out of the wedding and she still refuses to do so and in turn, is giving you more of a headache. Hope that she comes around soon and steps up. 

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