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it really depends on what else the bride is expecting of me - hair and makeup? bachelorette party and shower? new shoes? i think of it as an all-in expense, along with alterations, airfare, etc. as well. but generally i think if it's less than 200, that's fine.
Every situation is different, and so are people's circumstances. If you are having a black-tie wedding and the bridesmaids you choose are financially stable and aware that you are having an expensive wedding and that you expect a certain type of dress/gown from them they should be ready to pay more.
When I chose my bridesmaids I was open with them, I said, I want you as my bridesmaid. Can you handle the responsibilities? Such as dress, hair, nails, and make-up. In the end I chipped in on their dresses, and paid for their makeup as part of their gift. I think overall the bride should be aware of her bridesmaids circumstances and have an open dialogue about money and the cost of everything involved.
I spent $300 without alterations on a dress, but that's because it's the only option I was offered that wasn't strapless or thin spaghetti straps and the only option that wasn't a tube style dress, both of which would have made me look horrible. The most I would spend these days with alterations is 200. Then again, I don't think I would be a bridesmaid again except for one of my siblings or my best friend.
Amongst our "group", we acknowlede that $150 is our range. A bride called and was all, "is $160 ok????" and i said sure! Truth be told, it was $180 by the time the extra length was added on, but she would only take $160 from us as she paid for them up front and had us reimburse her. The only reason she said she picked such expensive dresses is b/c her sister is really plus-sized and only a "real" bridesmaid dress would do. I only spent $50 on her shower gift instead of the traditional $70 and $30 on her bachelorette gift instead of the traditional $50. I'm no cheap skate, but I compensate.
$200 is my limit before I say something or give out a low whistle. Thankfully, we are all the kind of people in my group that find out beforehand what is an "ok" dollar amount because we all young, some paying for grad school, some their own wedding, etc, and as much as you love someone, if you can't afford it, you can't afford it, plain and simple.
I don't think a BM dress should ever cost close to what my wedding dress did. My wedding gown was $400.
There are so many factors. Of most of my friends, I certainly can afford a pricey gown. Our house has a low mortgage, our wedding's over, my husband's a Captain, I'm an engineer....but I don't have thousands of dollars saved away to be in all my friend's weddings and it's a lot of money all at once usually. I'm in two weddings within 2 weeks of each other coming up...and I'm buying gifts now (on sale, thanks Macys!) so I don't hurt later.
I try to set a budget for local weddings of $400 per bride. It sounds chintzy, but when I say I'm in a wedding, it's now my husband's money, too. I buy gifts on sale, carpool, book a hotel early, etc. My SIL does my hair, I do my own makeup, and all my friends are VERY ok with "it's ok if you don't spend $80 on an updo and $40 on makeup!" so it's nice that my friends are all so considerate about our money.
My girls get to pick their own LBD so I guess I'm being nice, but... seeing as I'm in college, about to graduate and just about everyone else i know is in the same boat, I think the dress should be under $150. My poor friend is going to be in 3 weddings next year, all with $120+ dresses!
I agree with ONash--I wouldn't be in a wedding party after next year unless it was for a sibling or cousin (my cousins are my BMs). My best friends are all getting married next year!
Oh, one more thing. I just thought I'd point out that the best people to ask would be your bridal attendants. If you picked them, then hopefully you can trust them to be reasonable enough to shoot you a reasonable amount they are willing to spend.
The only way to know for sure is to ask the people involved. In the $300 gown wedding, three of the girls were perfectly happy, but one of the girls ended up very upset about the cost, which she got revenge for by not buying a gift. This girl and the bride don't speak anymore.
When looking for my bridesmaids' dresses, $150 will be my cutoff. The one I think I like is $138, and even then I feel a little bad about it. The most I've paid for a bridesmaid's dress when I was in a wedding was $250 and it was definitely a waste of money.
$225, provided I could wear it again. Less than that, though, if I definitely couldn't rewear it!
It surprizes me how much some people are actually willing to spend on a BM dress, but that was the point of this... Man, I hope for them to be as cheap as possible!
I understand the concept of figuring out the whole cost as mentioned above... I was just interested in the dress cost specifically. I just can't see myself being cool w/ dropping $300 on a dress I may not love or wear again.
Hee. In hindsight I am not very happy, but I had no idea what was reasonable at the time. It was the first wedding I was in/attended as an 'adult.'
Yeah, my first dress was $158... and I feel that number is okay... I mean, wish it was a little lower, but could easily of been worse!
$200 is the absolute limit, because I can't even really afford that. ;)
I think $150 and it better be a damn good dress. I'm in a wedding coming up, the dress is $200 and during the dress searching process the bride was very nice about asking our limit, and knowing that I'm unemployed offered to pay whatever I'm not comfortable paying. So I paid $150.
All of my girls have to fly to my wedding in Northern Michigan from all across the country, which i know will be expensive, so before we even looked at dresses I asked all my bridesmaids what their budgets were. Most of my girls have very good paying jobs, so money isn't really an issue for them, but i still wanted to make sure that they were all comfortable with whatever the costs are going to be. Our max budget for dresses is between $200-300.
I still don't even understand making a girl buy her own dress that she'll never wear again. It's so wasteful. Why is it so hard to choose something that's not malformed, obnoxiously colored, or otherwise hideous so she justify spending ANY money on it and wear it again.
I've been in several weddings, and never paid more than $60 for a BM dress... thanks to the Fashion District here in LA. My girlfriends and I always get dresses at wholesale prices there. I can't imagine spending hundreds on a dress that I will never wear again.
I picked the "no more than $200" option. When we were looking at bridesmaids dresses for my wedding, it seemed like around $150-ish was what nice looking, decent quality dresses cost. Also, if you were to go to a store like Macy's and buy a regular, new, not-on-clearance dress, those are priced into the $100-130 range as well.
I never been a bridesmaid myself. But for my girls (four total) I will be giving each of them $100 towards their dress. If Im still looking at dresses that arent more than $150.
I would pay upwards of $300 for a dress, although hopefully I would really like it...I think I might be a little jaded from living in NYC, where everything is super expensive...I also think it depends on your taste and type of wedding...I was looking for BM dresses that were under $150 but everything I found LOOKED like it was less than $150, if you get what I mean...so if it was a high-quality beautiful dress, I would def pay $300...plus, if it makes the bride happy, thats really what matters...
$200 for me is the absolute limit because then I have to add on the $ for the hair, make-up, shoes, bachelorette party, gifts (bridal and wedding), as well as, any other expense required by a BM.
I'm pretty tired of brides picking dresses that "you'll wear again." I got so fed up with a wedding I was in because she wanted us to pick our colors so we'd wear the dress again. Sorry bride, but I would never wear this dress again so pick your own colors! I'd rather wear exactly what the bride wants me to wear knowing I'll never wear it again and it'll make her dreams than spending and extra $100 because I might be at a gala that I could wear it at next year.
I'm keeping my BM's dress budget at less than $100 each. I'm not sure if they'll ever wear it again, but they'll all look great and I know I'm not asking them to break the bank. (J.Crew has AMAZING sales ladies, you should check them out :) )
I'm with runrgurl - living in DC, everything just costs more... When I asked one BM, she agreed only after I promised the dress cutoff would be $300. My sister's BM dresses are $500, so I'm doing what I can to find a cute dress that matches the style of our wedding (and the overall formality of DC) for less than $300.
J Crew is discontinuing the color of the under $200 BM I LOVE, but given that I'm over a year out, we just can't order that one and hope everyone (including a preggers BM) stays the same size!
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I've been seeing some numbers thrown around in the boards... and I was just wondering... Whats the limit you'd be willing to spend on a bridesmaid dress for someone elses wedding?