Post # 1
Ok, fellow Bees… I am hoping to get some perspective here as I am new to this whole being-a-bridesmaid thing.
Back in 2009-2010, my bff was “engaged.” I say “engaged” b/c her “FI’s” heart did not seem into it at all, and she pretty much pulled a half-assed proposal out of him on the couch one day. He just wasn’t into it and ended up breaking up with her after six years together. So the “engagement” was off.
However, when she was “engaged,” she had her sister (who was to be MOH), my other BFF, and me buy these god-awful David’s Bridal dresses. Picture an ugly off-colored fuchsia gown and there you go. We were fine with buying them despite the higher price tag.
Here is the sensitive part – her mom was dying during that time. Her mom saw her in her wedding dress (my bff did pick out her wedding dress and ordered it) and teared up, but unfortunately, the wedding never happened and her mom died shortly thereafter (cancer). 🙁
My bff is currently single, no wedding in sight, and is demanding we keep the dresses. I don’t get it. I am storing mine at my mom’s, and my mom keeps bugging me to sell it as she is moving, but I am afraid to. The thing is – this dress was from 2009-2010, my friend is currently completely single, and would she really want us wearing tainted clothes? For now, I will just take it to my place, but I guess this is just awkward and annoying.
Any brides out that that reused “tainted” wedding clothes? Or did you redo everything (new clothes, etc.).
Post # 3
You paid for the dress, right? If you paid for it, you can do whatever you want to with it. Sell it, burn it, cut it up and use it to wash the car. If she paid for it, she can have it and store it till whenever she is going to get engaged again. Perhaps she will buy it from you so she can store it.
This has nothing to do with “tainted clothes” but rather, it’s BS for one person to tell another person what they can and can’t do with property they’ve bought and paid for.
Post # 4
I can understand her not wanting to do anything with HER dress, but this is the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that you bought. I don’t thin she has a right to tell you what to do with the dress.
Post # 5
If she wants you to keep it but you can’t store it, store it at HER house.
Post # 6
It’s your dress to do with what you will.
If you don’t think you could sell it because of the style etc, or you choose to keep it because of your friendship and her expressed wish ,you can tell her that if she wants you to keep it, she is responsible for storing it.
Post # 7
I agree with @distracts! You can keep it at her house if its that big of a deal!
Personally, I wouldn’t want any of the same details as my called off wedding, especially years later when they might be out of style, so I doubt she’d even want to use this dress in her hypothetical future wedding!
Post # 9
Maybe she wants to use those dresses because she would feel bad making you buy a second dress? I agree with PPs, give her the dress to store it until a wedding happens. She may change her mind by then.
Post # 11
If you had said she “asked” I might have said your friend was trying to be considerate. Even though you got stuck with an unused Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, she would not want to ask you to buy another one in the future. However, she is not asking, she is “demanding. ” My guess is that she knows that if she gets married and the dresses were sold or given away, she would feel obligated to have to buy them herself next time.
Personally, I would hold on to the dress for a reasonable amount of time if asked to do so. As to whether the dress is “tainted, ” not everyone makes the same emotional connections. Your friend may associate the dress with her dream wedding, and not with the former Boyfriend or Best Friend at all. Someone else in her position wouldn’t even consider re-using the dresses.
Post # 12
Thank you, bees. I am going to talk to her about storing the dress at her place. I paid for it, and my mom wants to sell it, but I highly doubt she will find a buyer… Either way, I doubt that I will ever be wearing it…
Post # 13
@MrsNewDay: sell it IF you can get anything for it. If not donate it.
Post # 14
For a friend I’d just shove it in the back of my closet, I’ll indulge crazy once in awhile for someone I like.
Post # 15
@LGenz: Good point. In that case, I may just have my mom bring it down to me next time we see each other. I don’t want to have to deal with drama especially since I doubt I could sell this dress anywhere. If she changes her mind (the friend), I will just donate it.