Post # 1
HI everybody! I’m new to the boards… have been lurking awhile and enjoying reading everyone’s posts and now I have something I’d love your advice on.
A couple weeks ago I went shopping with my 6 bridesmaids for their dresses. The girls decided on a strapless black dress that we all loved and that they all looked amazing in! My mom and I didn’t want the wedding or the dress to be a financial burden on anybody, so we decided to purchase the dresses for them as a gift. Now all of the girls are happy except for one….
Bridesmaid A insists that she is a size smaller than she is. Although her figure is beautiful she doesn’t feel comfortable with her body and wants to lose a lot of weight before my wedding (which is in 2 months). She tried on two different sizes… one of which fit pretty well, and a smaller size that was too tight and (think inappropriate cleavage for a church wedding). Bridesmaid A wants to get the smaller size and “get in shape” before the wedding which makes me uncomfortable since it’s so soon. When I suggested that she looked better in the larger size (we are talking about the difference between a size 4 and a size 2 here!) she was very offended that I don’t “trust her to know her own body” and what she can achieve in her weight loss goal. I feel stuck because on the one hand I don’t want her to be upset with me and I want her to feel comfortable in what she wears, but on the other hand I am annoyed that she is not thinking about my feelings and what I want for our wedding day. I suggested we get the 4 and then make any alterations if the dress is too loose closer to the wedding, but she did not like that idea either, saying it would change the entire structure of the dress, cost money, etc.
Has anybody been through anything similar? What would you do in this situation?
Post # 3
I think I would go with the bigger size and if she does get in shape, that is great! yay for her! and she can get it taking in…but I def. wouldn’t want her flaunting her goods in a smaller dress in my wedding in front of all my family and others..
How long does the dress take to get in? maybe give her a month to get in shape and than order her dress? Compromise? I don’t know…just suggesting cuz two months is a short time for ordering dresses and working out..Or maybe give her a week and see if she does start doing what she said she will and than order the dress…atleast show she is committed…that way it’s not like a crash diet the week before the wedding..
Post # 4
and welcome to wedding bees! I am pretty new too 😀
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice and for the welcome floridabeachbride! 🙂
We had to order the dresses already since they were on sale at White House Black Market and going out of stock. We bought her both sizes so we could choose which one, but we have to return one of them within the next 2 weeks for a refund.
If I kept the 4 and suggested she get alterations down the road, would it be okay to expect her to pay for the alterations, or is that something else we should cover?
Post # 6
How can she be sure that she’s even going to look good in the size 2? Geez.
She should pay for alterations. It’s not your fault if she does/does not gain weight. As a side note, in the two weddings that I have been in, I had to pay for the dresses and alterations.
Post # 7
I agree. I was on the other side for a wedding last year – I bought a 4 hoping to lose wt and didn’t. While the cleavage wasn’t excessive, the 6 would have been much more comfortable. According to Nicole from Kleinfeld who measured me for my dress, only about 50% of brides lose wt for the wedding. The number of bridesmaids is likely much fewer who lose the weight.
Tell her to return the 2, if she loses the weight she can always have it altered. =)