(Closed) Bridesmaid Dress VENT!

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@missjewels:  No, I would tell her that you are not planning on paying for your bridesmaids dresses so for her to please tell you how much you owe! It’s great that she wants to do things a certain way but you are also entitled to do things a certain way for your wedding day.

Post # 4
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I dont think that its fair… I would say yes if they were in the same price range

Post # 6
Member
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If she wants to pay for your dress, that’s her choice, but it is expected in America that BMs pay for their own dresses, and I’d make her aware immediately that she will have to pay for her dress for your wedding. If she wants you to pay for your dress for her wedding,fine, but the two should have nothing to do with each other.

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

Really?  It’s a $40 – $50 difference.  It’s not worth ruining your relationship with your FSIL. Trust me.  And if it’s that big a deal in YOUR budget, she should understand that you gave her the dress in lieu of her thank you gift.

 

Also, the “I hate confrontation” thing is just annoying.  First of all, it’s a conversation, should you choose to have it and shouldn’t BE confrontational.  Second of all, you’re a grown up, about to get married.  Grow a backbone.  Sometimes you have to do things that make you uncomfortable.  Think about what you’re going to tell your future children.  i.e. “just because you don’t feel like it doesn’t mean you don’t have to do it.”

 

You are going to have this woman in your life for the rest of your life (hopefully), you should decide if this is important enough to be worth talking to her about.  And if it is how to tactfully have a conversation with her about it.  You are going to be having kids that related to eachother.  Cousins that are going to play together, spend holidays together, etc.  Don’t let too much drama creep into this early stage of your lives together.

 

That’s my opinion, anyway.

Post # 8
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

In the U.K the brides always pay for the BM’s dresses so here you’d be stuck with your FSIL suggestion (though it would be a bit unfair!) I always thought that in the States the BM’s always pay for their own dresses so it is even more unfair of her to switch rules after buying them!

    It always sounds like the dress buying is a potential minefield. All I can suggest is that you tell her you would prefer to stick to the usual rules – I would tell her asap though rather than let this matter hang over you. This kind of thing can escalate into lots of misunderstandings and if you are both on different pages re. dress buying, you need to both sort it out as quickly as you can.

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